Dance This way: An Avi Kaplan fan fiction

Crumbling

It had been a few weeks and the burning questions of my classmates had died down. I still got an occasional question about our relationship status or if we were secretly married. I ignored them not wanting to say anything that could trace back to Avi in some way. All I wanted was to get back to my normal routine of life. To be perfectly honest, I had enough to worry about school and my relationship. Even though I was keeping it a secret, The whole thing with us only being able to call and text was getting old. I needed him there with me. I wanted to be with him. My skin ached for his touch and it was in more ways than one.  I yearned to feel his fingers graze my skin like they did when we would lay on the couch watching whatever stupid show on Netflix. I missed the way he would leave his scent on my clothes when held me close to him. He made me feel safe. He made me feel like I had found a home simply within his presence.

"Again" I shouted after finishing a routine in rehearsal. Sweat was on my brow with my hands on my hips. The halls were completely abandoned and so quiet you could hear air molecules crashing into one another. Alex was completely out of breath and despite my demeanor, so was I.

"Erica, we have been at this for 5 hours" he breathed.

"5 hours and it still feels off Alex" I told him as I ran my fingers through my hair. "We should be farther than this." I continued

"Can we at least take a break" he asked already sitting on the floor.

"Yeah, sure" I said. I didn't want to admit it, but I was tired too. My legs felt like jelly and my feet were on fire. I couldn't go home yet though. Being at home meant being alone with my thoughts and I didn't really trust my own mindset at that moment.

"What's up with you" Alex asked. I turned my head so that I wouldn't meet his gaze. Alex knew me all too well and there was no use in trying to hide my thoughts from him. "You miss him" he finally said. I was silent. "Man, you're stubborn" he laughed a little. "We should call it a night" Alex said. "Your head's not on strait and we could both use the rest" he said. I admitted defeat and nodded. Do you want me to walk you home" he offered.

"No, I'll be okay" I assured him. Alex gave me a look. "I'm fine Alexander" I said trying to convince him.

"Whoa, birth name means you're serious. I'll see you later. Please text when you get home in one piece." Alex gathered his things and left. Standing by myself , I did the only thing I thought to do. I played Kevin's cello cover of "All Of Me" by John Legend and I let go of my thoughts and began to move around the dance floor. I escaped myself more and more with every movement. It was if nobody else was on earth and the curtains of the world seemed to fade away. The steps and turns I took weren't planned. They were all products of raw emotions as i let my soul guide my every move. The song had come to its end and I heard my phone ring. I walked over to pick it up and answer it.

"Hello" I said

"Hey Beautiful" I heard Avi's voice. Even despite how I was feeling and how I wanted to just sit in a puddle of my own self pity, he made me feel so much better.

"I miss you" I finally admitted out loud.

"I miss you more" he said. "I wish I could be there for your birthday this weekend" he continued.

"I do too, but I think it's just gonna be me and a few friends" I said.

"Well, I'll be thinking of you the whole time" he said. I could hear Kevin pretending to gag in the background. "Ugh, I gotta go" he said. I giggled a little.

"Hey, tell him his cello playing is amazing." I told him and he agreed.

"See ya later alligator" he said.

"In a while crocodile" I replied before hanging up. I walked home that night feeling better despite my body's aches from 5 hours of rehearsal even if i knew I would feel it 10 fold come morning. When I reached my room, after sneaking past Lena who had fallen asleep on the couch, I sat in my room and I couldn't help but think that I knew what I was signing up for. I knew the risk I was taking when I started dating Avi Kaplan. He was well worth it. There wasn't a part of me that didn't believe that, but I couldn't stop that single tear from escaping my eye before I went to bed. I was in love with him, and every day that scared me a little more. The distance. The uncertainty. The excessive amount of attention. All of it was terrifying. I wanted to be strong for him. I wanted to be positive for us, but deep down, I was a mess and having him be gone for such long periods of time felt so lonely even if I was surrounded by my friends. Avi's call made me feel better, but only for a sweet moment that faded all too quickly. I went to bed that night feeling like I was missing a piece of my heart.

It was 3 days before my birthday and even though I just wanted us to have dinner with a few friends, Lena insisted on having a celebration. She had rented out a small restaurant and invited a bunch of our friends.

"Lena, you're not going overboard with this party are you" I asked.

"Of course not" she smiled. I knew she was fibbing. "It's barely a party. It's more like a gathering" she said. I could hear the wheels in her mind turning. I rolled my eyes "Just make sure you wear that dress. You haven't worn it yet" she said to me. Lena handed me the guest list while I was sitting at the breakfast bar. I looked through the list. Alex, Layla and quite a few other names had made the cut. When I reached the end of the list, my eyes grew a little wider. I tried not to react.

"I didn't know you invited Jack" I said casually.

"Yeah. I know you two don't always get along, but I thought you were at least friends" she said. Not even Lena knew the whole truth about him. "Do you want me to take him off" she offered.

"No. It's fine" I said. Another opportunity missed, but I thought that enough would be there so I could avoid him. It's what I hoped for anyway.

Sorry this one is kinda boring :/