Love You With The Lights On (Lesbian teacherxstudent Story)

six

I woke up to the sun shining against my plain off-white wall. I closed my eyes again due to my weak will power to get up and pulled the blankets up to my chin to snuggle into the bed further.
My mind immediately replayed the events that occurred last night.
I began to debate my thoughts of stopping things with Emily, because obviously she wasn't over her ex. She let her stay at her apartment and who really knew if anything happened after I left.
I'm forced to go the rest of the weekend thinking about Emily and Taylor possibly hooking up. My stomach twisted at that thought and I felt the urge to go over to her place to see if Taylor was even still there.
I picked up my phone and saw two new messages, both from an unknown number.
First was a picture of Emily in bed with the most adorable pout. I smiled to myself and then read the message.
(832)555-2785: I hated waking up without you here.
Alaina: Is she still there?
I saved her number into my phone then so I could keep it.
Emily: No, when I got up she was gone. I have no clue where she went... I'm actually a little scared to be completely honest.
I couldn't help but feel jealous that she was worrying about her ex even when she was talking to me. I knew I wasn't anything more than her student, but we had hooked up since knowing this, so I wasn't actually just her student. I knew she cared for her ex and I knew her ex dumped her, but I have no idea who this Taylor actually is.
Emily: Come over for lunch or something?
Alaina: Maybe.
Emily: Let me know.
I didn't reply after that, so I tossed my phone onto the bed next to me and pulled my cat deep into my chest to snuggle.
I kissed his head before finally getting up and waking out to the living room where I found an empty couch.
"Mom?" I called out to the vacant room.
"Hey, love. Good morning." She came bouncing out of her room. Makeup painted her face. Hair perfectly curled. Scrubs neatly worn and wrinkle-free. She looked as perfect as she always did in the day time, which I will never understand how she does it.
"Eh. Not so good." I answered.
"Why? You feeling alright?" She asked worriedly and pressed the back of her cold hand to my forehead.
"I'm fine." I pushed her hand off of my head.
"You sure?" She asked.
"Yes, mom." I groaned and retreated to the kitchen where I saw the Honey Nut Cheerios already sitting on the counter. I pulled a bowl from the cabinet and poured myself a serving.
"I won't be home-" Mom started telling me her usual speech.
"Until late, I know. You might go out after your shift, I know. Anything else?" I asked harshly.
"No, no I think you got it all." She seemed to be taken back by my hasty response.
"Love you." I said as I grabbed the milk from the fridge.
"I love you." She said quietly.
"Anything you need from the store?" I asked before she grabbed her jacket.
"Um, no. I think I'm set." She pressed her lips together in a straight smile.
"Alright." I pushed the cereal down into the milk with a spoon before turning toward her finally.
"I'm sorry I work so much." She sincerely says.
"I get it. It's not easy being a single mother to a needy teenager." I said.
"You're not needy. I thank God everyday that you're not needy." She allowed a small smile to play her lips.
"Really?" I asked.
"You're not half as needy as some of your friends. My simple simple baby." She came toward me and grabbed head with her hands before pulling me into her body.
I breathed in her scent and smiled as I felt her comfort wrap around me.
"I do love you so much, Al." She kissed the top of my head.
Oh if only you knew I liked girls.
"I love you too." I wrapped my free arm around her waist.
"Okay, I'm going to be late. Text me to let me know you're alive. I'll be home by 10 at the latest." She said as she rushed out of the front door.
"Bye." I said quietly once the door was shut and she was gone.
I knew she wouldn't be home at 10, nor would she be alone. I sighed to myself.
I glanced at the clock that read 8:34. She left an hour before her shift was starting for what I still don't know. She doesn't think I know these things, but I've picked up on a few things over the years of her working for Saint Joseph's.
I really wasn't in the mood to be with Emily right now. I still felt a slight pain in my chest when I thought of her and last night. I shook my head and went back to my room to retrieve my phone from the bed. I walked back to the living room with my bowl of cereal in one hand and my phone in the other.
Reagan: Anyone up for the mall?
Dakota: Go back to sleep you bitch.
I laughed to myself at Dakota's response.
Alaina: I am!
It was far too early for anyone else to be awake so I knew I would soon be getting a one on one text from Reagan.
Reagan: When do you wanna go? Like 2?
Alaina: Why so early?
Reagan: Well you're you and when I say 2 you'll be ready to go at 5.
Alaina: You know me so well. So really 5?
Reagan: Yesss. Shift changes happen then so hopefully Mal will get off and will be able to hang.
Alaina: Sounds good.
Damn. I don't have an excuse to not go to Emily's. I don't want to tell her that I don't want to, but I really don't want to. I knew if I didn't and she found out I went out with Reagan, she'd be mad at me for not facing my concerns head on.

I was mindlessly watched the United States of Tara on Netflix when my phone rang and Emily's name popped up.

"Hello?" I answered.
"Can we talk?" She asked.
"About?" I responded.
"You know what. Can you please come over?" She repeated.
"Yeah, sure." I gave in.
When it comes to Emily, I find myself weak when she asks something of me.
-
"You know maybe we should wait to see how this goes. Wait until it's legal, so I don't have to hide you." She said.
"Is this your way of telling me that things aren't done with Taylor?" I asked.
"No, Alaina. God, no!" She exclaimed.
"Then why all of a sudden you wanna call it quits?" I asked.
"Because this is dangerous for both of us." She said softly.
"Yeah, okay sure. Because just last night you weren't begging me to not be mad and to stay." I laughed sarcastically.
"Lainey, just hear me out. I want you, believe me I want you more than I've ever wanted to be with someone. I just don't know what I can risk right now. I need this job. They're helping pay off my student loans and get me out of debt. Please try to understand." She sounded desperate.
"I do understand, I just... don't get it. You're telling me that within less than what 13 hours you completely changed your mind again?" I asked.
"I know this is difficult to withstand, but Alaina please." She said.
"I'm not sure I can withstand it, honestly." I shrugged.
"Don't say that." She shook her head.
"You're always so back and forth. You never know what you want from me. It's tiring, Emily. It's so draining." I said with defeat evident in my voice as I finished my response.
"Please, just hold on. I need you in my life, Alaina." She said to me.
"You know we can't be in each other's lives in any other way unless you don't expect us to be tempted." I argued.
"I can try. We can be friends." She suggested.
"Friends? There's no way we can be friends." I exclaimed.
"Can we try?" She asked.
"I know I won't be able to look at you and not touch you." I shook my head.
She gave up the fight and nodded as her eyes fell to the floor.
I didn't say another word, I just turned and walked out of her apartment. She didn't call after me, try to stop me, or chase after me. That's how I knew we were truly over.