The Truth From Within

You Think You Know

.
..
...
You think you know what I'm going through?
You think you can say that I don't eat enough?
You think you can tell how I feel,
What I think,
Who I love.

You think you know how much time is too long
To spend by myself
And the only way I can be alone
Is when I've earned it.

You
Think
You
Know

All these things, that I have to eat more, when all I want is to be beautiful
Like her
The girl you watch
The one
The only one you have eyes for
She is more beautiful than I could ever be
Smarter,
Kinder,
Happier.

And then my problems make me
angry
sad
just unpleasant to be around

So I throw up this facade of
joy
contentment
being 'okay'

And then you!
in your perfection,
able to see right through me
Except the parts that I want people to see

You see the
pain
truth
darkness
and you, you want to help! 
you want to make me all right again

but can't you see
it only makes me love you more
and when you don't love me in that way back
I am torn apart inside
And you see the rip but not the reason
and the purity of your character
blinds you
to the fact that your kind actions
are
slowly
killing
me
softly

softly, softly, hidden to all
even
you
especially
you

you're too good to be true the only one who knows me you see me more than I do and the only thing I know is that I don't deserve you and I never will unless

unless I can make you notice me
as a flower not a rainy pebble
as pretty
not pathetic

So I will act strong
and smile often
and the bruises are only on my heart in my head
and even you can't heal them

So I will remain a fountain
spouting happiness
never running out of water
until one day
when the
pipes
freeze
and the water cannot run
and the statue within is exposed
and it all shatters into a million billion shards
of
my
despair

oh and when I'm gone, you'll do that thing you do
where you think you know it all
amd you always do
except
except
except
this time, the time that matters most
you only think you have a solution
but you won't
and you'll freeze too
and then everything collapses
and all that is left
are
icy
ashes

and
yet
in
this
fairytale
there
is
no
phoenix
to
rise
and
fly
again

in
this
fairytale,
there's
no
turning
back
...
..
.