The Truth From Within

Afraid

Afraid
afraid of the dark
not what it is in itself,
but the unknown
that it may hide
That's why I open my eyes

Afraid
afraid of the light
not because of the light itself,
but the brightness
illuminating everything secret
That's why I close the door

Afraid
afraid of my dreams
waking me up in a sheen of cold sweat
my fists clenched
my stomach a knot of fear and stress
That's why I don't sleep

Afraid
afraid of the pain
not physical pain
but the ache in your heart
when you've lost something
That's why I put up walls

Afraid
afraid of failure
not just scores
but the inability
to meet expectations
That's why I worry

Afraid
afraid of just meeting
not being excellent
astounding in every way
That's why I try so hard

Afraid
afraid of burning out
collapsing under the weight
of everything required
That's why I shut down my emotions

Afraid
afraid that I will meet my goal
and have nothing left to do
in life, in love, in anything
That's why I'm never satisfied with myself

Afraid
afraid that I'll forget something important,
someone's birthday,
some class assignment
That's why I ask the same question a million times

This year
I forgot my own birthday!
Because I was afraid of not staying focused in school
That's how I succeed

Isn't it?

Being afraid
afraid of rejection
afraid of my reflection
because it reminds me of that dark time
Not too long ago

Afraid
afraid someone will find out
how short a time it's been since then
Since I nearly threw it all away
for what?
A mirror?
An impossible peak?
An appearance.

Afraid
afraid of looking like a fool
afraid of looking like a stuck-up smart aleck
afraid of looking awkward
afraid of looking like I don't belong
That's why I spend far too long inspecting the girl in the glass, though she'll never be good enough for me

Afraid
afraid of infinity
Stretching on forever
taking me somewhere
I don't know
and where I don't want to go,
Under the ocean
Out past the planets
Beyond this life
That's why I think literally

Afraid,
afraid of all these things,
That worrying will never fix
But I find myself later reflecting
And I finally think I've got it

Fear without action is simply afraid
But Fear, now with action, will spark a change
I can be successful, happy, loving, and wise
If I just look around and open my eyes