Naruto Kittens?!

Numb Ass

Ai~

"BabyBabyBabyShiba!BabyBabyBabyShiba! ARGH SHUT UP BRAIN!" Me and Hidan screamed at the same time before we began to sing that terrific tune.
I looked around at everyone and watched in amusement as I saw Itachi miming the words, I could see the faint movement of 'mameshiba' on his lips, I sighed dreamily at the sex god.
An Image of his Naked popped in my head for around the Sixth time today, my head sprang back and I comically flew out my chair and flipped backwards, blood spurting from my Nostrils.
My hand twitched before I jumped up again and sat down as if nothing happened with a grin on my face.
"My ass is Numb.." I heard someone mutter, I looked over to see Deidara rubbing his ass, I chuckled flashing a picture quickly and turning back acting Innocent whispering a whistle whilst looking around.
"DEIDARA-SEMPAI! MY BUTT IS NUMB TOO! AI-CHAN! MY BUTT IS NUMB!" He screeched, causing me to sigh I jumped off my seat and skipped to the player and paused it.
"Who wants food~?" I sang with a grin pulling at my mouth.
"I do I do I do I do I do I do!" Tobi shouted, flailing his arms around whilst hopping from foot to foot.
I heard a few stomachs rumble and laughed, running out with the others following, tobi and Hidan rushed right passed me and to the kitchen.
I heard a loud boom and giggled, skidding down the hall and around the corner, down some stairs and into the kitchen I saw Smoke everywhere.
Once the smoke had died down I looked around for Tobi and hidan, only to find the room empty.
"Tobi~Hidan~where are youu~?" I sang out, stepping over a few things.
"Please don't tell me they activated it." I groaned, searching around for any body parts, stepping on something a loud hiss was heard and I looked down.
Under my foot was a small silver kitty, big purple eyes glaring at me and loud hisses and meows sputtered from his mouth.
"...Activated what...?" I heard kisame ask unsurely,Woah, slow reply much?
"Oh uhm... Nothing" I grinned innocently, turning my face changed to an 'oh fuck' face.
"Right, Hidan... If you want stood on then don't help me find tobi. Everyone else, search for the little cutie!" I smiled, searching under the table, I heard scurrying around, the other akatsuki members searching for the little orange kitten.
"Tobi, where the fuck are you?" I groaned after 10 minutes of searching.
I heard a clash upstairs and my eyes widened, grabbing a giant cutting knife in my hand I ran up the stairs, kicking my room door open, Knife held High waiting to strike an enemy.
I opened an eye and what I saw made me fall back with even more blood pouring from my nose.
I heard the Akatsuki members coming, Konan gasped as she looked at me, then the blood and then the knife, her eyes soon seeing tobi as he held a cloak over himself.
"TOBI! WHY DID YOU STAB AI!?" Konan screamed, looking at my twitching figure that laid in a pool of blood.
"Tobi never hurt Ai-chan! Ai-chan got a nose bleed! And was going to hurt tobi!" Tobi denied, Konan looked back at me, her eyes looking at my love-struck face.
A stupid look crossed her face which would've looked fine if it was accompanied by a sweatdrop making me snap up so quickly no-one saw that I moved, I stuck a hairband in her hear that had a sweatdrop on it before throwing myself back down.
"Wha-?" Konan started dumbly, her hands patting at her head.
I felt three pairs of eyes boring into my skull, they were familiar and I soon recognized them to be the Sharingan and Rinnegan.
I 'snapped' out of it and looked at them, Itachi and pein's eyes narrowed suspiciously as they stared at me, though I couldn't see anything but darkness in Tobi's mask.
I wiped the blood from my nose with my hand, I started stripping, pulling my top over my shoulders a few boys looked away, the small hidan kitten that I forgot I was holding's nose began to bleed profusely, I began to whipe the blood off the floor with my t-shirt, a towel was placed on my shoulders and I looked up seeing itachi staring directly in my eyes, I smiled with a small nod I finished cleaning up the now blood stained floor.


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'POOF' and a Naked Hidan appeared, blood spraying from my nose I wiped it up, handing him another cloak.
What? I liked cosplays, you can never have to many!
He stuck it on, mumbling how he felt weird, "My dick is cold, got any underwear?" He asked, wiggling around, I chuckled before searching my underwear drawer I pulled out a black laced thong and handed it to him.
He stared at it.
"And that's supposed to go...where?" He asked stupidly, staring at the tiny piece of material that I have yet to wear, though I doubt I ever will... Unless itachi is willing, or maybe any man akatsuki member.
I grinned evily at the thought before snapping back into 'reality'.
"Its a thong, hidan." I smirked as he held it looking at it like it was alien.
A few akatsuki snickered like children, "Girls wear those to show their asses!" Deidara laughed out, "and you'd know that." Hidan snapped at him, Hidan looked back at the clothing.
Before handing it back to me, "That's not gonna fit. Nuh-uh. Got any shorts?... Boxers?" He asked.
Walking into my closet I walked over to the man section of clothing, yes I love mens clothes and yes, I crossdress... Only as anime characters.
I pulled out some boxers with a glum expression, a grin soon taking over it.
"When your done, do not put them in the wash, just give them right~ to me." I smirked as he nodded unsurely, shoving the boxers on.
At the side of my eye I saw Kisame smirk, "hey, hidan. Where's your pendant?" He asked, his smirk widening as hidans eyes got larger before he fell to his knees.
"Nooooooo!" He shouted, staring at the ceiling, probably imagining jashin looking at him in disgust.
Tears fell from his face as other akatsuki members snickered at his response.
I sighed, "I have another pendant, don't fucking lose it though." I glared at him, walking back over to my closet I raked through my Naruto jewelry, I pulled out the Jashin pendant before looking around again.
I grinned, finding my Tsunade cosplay necklace, the one she got from her grandad, and gave to Naruto.
Clipping that on I ran out and handed him the metal pentant that I had made in metal work from school.
He snatched it from my hands and clasped the back before standing up and opened his mouth to say something when a loud growl errupted from everyone's stomach at the same time, we chuckled.
I skipped with Tobi down the stairs again and ran into the kitchen.
"What does everyone want? And Zetsu I have some steak you could eat" I grinned as I got a small nod from Zetsu causing my to squeal in my mind.
I grabbed a large plate and looked around the freezer, I found a giant steak, around the length of my arm, width of my head and thickness of my fist.
Blood splatted as I threw it on a plate and stuck it in the microwave for a few minutes, making sure it was edible I gabe him it and watched in awe as he ate the steak.
As I walked by I dipped my finger in the blood and sucked, my eyes closing in delight at the taste, I felt my eyes change so I kept them shut before blinking them to normal I looked to see everyone talking to each other, though a few people looked at me confusingly and suspiciously, I merely grinned and began grabbing a giant pot-as big as a school pot- and shoved many packets of super noodles in it, getting my kettle on I boiled a few kettles worth of water, turning up the heat I grabbed a ladel and began to stir the noodles.
Soon they were finished and I added all the sachets of powder and stired it all together, a small spoon of butter, yes I know it sounds horrible but usually its a lot less butter I use and it tastes nice with the butter in it.
I stired until the butter melted, I brought out ten bowls and pouring in the noodles, I set all the plates down and I began to eat mine whilst on the table.
I smiled as I looked around at everyone, it's been a while since I'd had visitors, its not like I have many close friends, though I did have one really close friend that is on a mission in california, so I have no idea how long she'll be.
I stared blankly as I was caught in my thoughts only to be snapped out of it when I saw Pein in my face, I tilted my head.
"Nagato, do you understand me and are you still in the other world? Or is this yahiko being depressive?" I asked the peirced ginger, his eyes slightly larger than before.
"Get off the table, we're eating" he glared, spitting on me.
My thumbs and forefingers formed a rectangle/square as I stretched my arms, of coarse after wiping my face and muttering an 'ew'
" BARRIOR![1]" I shouted, staring at Pein who looked at me strangely.

[1]  Barrior= Its a referance were jintan spits on menma from an anime called Ano hi mita(Short version) Yeah...