1001 lovers (Hetalia x reader)

A Skele-Ton of Puns

Crash

"Guy in a mask! Guy in a mask! Guy in a mask!"

Bang

"We're being attacked!"

Smash

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

You are immediately awakened by the chaos.  Everyone is running around, everyone is screaming, what is going on?

The ship that's just a little too close to yours rewards you with an answer.  Aboard the ship are two people: one with a mask and one wearing a keffiyeh.

Everything is happening so fast, it's overwhelming. What are you supposed to do? You look around to see if there is anyone who isn't panicking and actually doing something productive, but there is no one in sight that meets those standards.

Your eyes dart back to the ship. The two people who were on it step back, run, jump, and miraculously land onto your boat. Now that they have landed, they are beginning to tie people's hands behind their backs with rope.

Where did all the rope come from? What is going on??

Out of all this ruckus you spot someone who isn't screaming their lungs out or sobbing. He isn't calm though, quite angry in fact.

"Turkey," he snarls.

"What, Greece,?" you ask.

"The person who's attacking our boat. It's Turkey."

Greece storms off over to the guy in the mask. "Hey, Turkey! What do you think your doing?"

"Haha! Greece! Haven't seen you in a while, eh?"

"Don't you have anything better to do than kidnap people?  Is your life that pathetic?"

You feel an arm wrap around your waist.  A gasp escapes you, and you look behind you to see who it is.  It's the guy in the keffiyeh.  His eyes meet yours for a second and he smirks ever so slightly.  Then, he grabs both of your wrists and ties them behind your back with rope. You try to elbow him in the stomach so he'll stop, but your attempts don't go to successful.  In about thirty minutes everyone has been taken captive.

"That stupid head," Greece mutters.

You are being held in some sort of dungeon like place.  It's a large, square room.  If you look up, you can see the sky in between prison like bars. 

You and your group aren't the first to be kidnapped by these two.  There is one person sitting in the corner who must've been here for a long time.  He has a hairstyle that is significantly longer on one side, and it's kind of irritating.  His name is Cyprus.

There's another person, too.  Well, not exactly a person...more like a skeleton.  He's called Sans.

"It's cold down here," you remark.

"It is cold," Sans replies.  "I would even say I'm chilled down to the bone ;)."

*crowd claps and cheers*

Cyprus responds with a hysterical fit of laughter. 

"I'm kind of glad that you guys got locked down here.  With just me and Cyprus, it was getting pretty bonely ;)."

*crowd claps and cheers*

"Hahahahahaha!  Man, your good.  But can you beat this?" America stands up and clears her a throat.  "What did the bartender say when a hamburger walked into it?  Hmm...That didn't sound right...Whatever!"

"Haha.  What?"

"Sorry, but we don't serve food here!"

*people whoop and cheer more*

America and Sans jump up for a high five, but Sans dodges out of the way at the last second and shouts, "Get dunked on!!!"

Cyprus starts laughing even harder.

"It's hard enough dealing with you guys already," Britain says, looking at America. "I don't know how I'm going to survive locked in a cage with these two."

"If I'm not wanted here," Cyprus starts. "Then I might as well just Cy-prus my way out of here."

*crowd boos and throws tomatoes*

"I can't take this any longer!" Switzerland pulls out his gun and aims it at Sans.

Lichtenstein puts her hand over her mouth. "Big bruder, you wouldn't!"

"I'm doing this for your sake. I don't want to expose you to such preposterous behavior."

"Big bruder, please don't!"

Switzerland won't let anyone talk him out of it. With one shot, he blasts Sans's head clean off. The skull topples to the floor, and the smile on it seems wider than ever.

"Oh no, my bone broke," Sans says.

Nobody speaks for a second. All that can be heard is America's sobs.

"Haha. Silly guy. You can't kill me, I'm already dead! But this sure is going to take a ton of time to fix. A skele-ton ;)"