Don't You Think That I'm A Runner?

It's Gone

After that night, I basically moved in with him. I stayed there every night and eventually brought all of my things over to his apartment from Lexy's. I was more than happy to get out of there. And I was thrilled to be spending all of my time with Mark. He had never actually asked me to be his girlfriend, and we had never talked about it. But it went without saying that we were very much "together." I considered him my boyfriend.

He had this way of making everything change. For the better. He made everything easy. I couldn't believe how drastically my life had changed since I met him. I never even thought about Layton anymore. I had no desire to use drugs. He made me okay again. He came in at the lowest point in my life and fixed everything. He made me feel lucky for the first time in my life.

We drank and smoked pot sometimes, but nothing more than that. We stopped going to any house parties. We just hung out at his apartment or one of his friends' places. Most of my time was spent watching the band play music. Mark constantly wrote and practiced stuff at home, and I loved being able to witness that. He even taught me how to play some basic stuff on acoustic guitar and that turned into a new hobby for me. 

The only problem with dating someone in a band is that they have to go on tour. Sometimes it's for months on end and in other countries. Especially when the band has just gotten their big break and is blowing up everywhere. But I didn't know the extent of it at first because Mark didn't tell me. I had to find out the hard way.

I was in the middle of doing my laundry and had put all of the socks I had in the washer. My feet were freezing, so I decided to go into Mark's dresser to take a pair of his socks. In that drawer, I found a tiny plastic baggie with powder in it. I couldn't believe my eyes, but my stomach sank because I knew exactly what it was. Heroin.

I instantly went to call him and demand answers. But I knew how worked up I was, so instead I tried my best to cool off while I waited for him to come home. There could be an explanation. I knew I shouldn't just assume the worst and attack him the minute he walked in the door. My plan was just to calmly ask him to explain.

But the more I sat and thought about it, the angrier I got. And as soon as he came home, I marched into the living room and held the baggie in front of his face. I had snapped.

"What the fuck is this?!" 

"It's not for me," he replied nonchalantly.

"Don't you think you should have mentioned to me - a recovering addict - that you had drugs in the house!? And my drug of choice, too! I had no idea this was going on!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know I had to tell you my every move."

"What!? Are you being serious right now? You were obviously trying to hide it from me!" He was still acting like it was no big deal, so I shoved him a little to get more of a reaction. I wanted to punch him in the face. 

"Jesus, calm down," he said as he caught me off guard and grabbed the baggie from me. I tried to snatch it back from him, but he held it high above me, way out of my reach. I kept shoving and tugging on him trying to get it back. It didn't phase him at all. "Chloe, you're half my size, you're not going to win here."

I tried a few more times unsuccessfully and then finally gave up. He waited until he was sure I was done and then he walked around me and down the hall into the bathroom. I hesitated at first, but then I went after him. I got to the bathroom just as he was dropping the baggie in the toilet. He looked at me, obviously upset about the whole thing. I hadn't seen him like this before. I looked back, not sure what to do. I didn't want to fight with him, but I was mad as hell. He turned back and flushed the toilet.