Don't You Think That I'm A Runner?

Are You Sure You're Ready?

"Lay down with me?" He got into his bed and I followed, cuddling tightly up against him.

At first, neither of us said anything. We just laid there in peaceful silence snuggling. I thought of the first time that I had woken up here in this bed with the sun shining on my face from the same window that moonlight was now pouring into. He still hadn't bothered to get blinds or curtains. I never would have thought that I'd be here again, especially not under these circumstances. I turned my head to smile up at him.

"You know, I'm really glad I met you." 

"Oh, so you're not pissed at me anymore?" He laughed. 

"That heroin thing was bullshit and you know it. That better not happen again."

His smile faded and he got a serious look on his face. "I know. It won't." His eyes moved back and forth like they were searching mine for something. A piece of my hair fell in my face and he reached out to tuck it back behind my ear. "You're so beautiful, Chlo," he smiled. 

I leaned forward to kiss him. And when I went to pull away, he grabbed my face to stop me. He pressed his forehead against mine and said, "I love you."

I immediately tensed up. He felt it and leaned back away from me. He looked at me in question. 

"What's wrong?"

The realization I had hit me with full force. I shook my head a little, trying to think about how to explain it. "I honestly never thought I was capable of loving anyone again. I was scared the drugs had made me completely numb. And I didn't think anyone else would ever love me after I got hooked on them."

Instead of responding with words, he moved me so that I was sitting on top of him in a straddle. He leaned up and wrapped his arms around my back, kissing me as he laid back down on his back and brought me down with him. He held me close against his chest as my body framed his. I could feel him getting hard underneath me. And that's when it dawned on me. We were getting ready to have sex for the first time.

I had told him from the start that I wasn't ready to have sex yet. He completely understood and didn't rush me or pressure me. He told me he would wait for as long as I needed to. We had messed around and done just about everything else. But I hadn't been ready to give myself to him completely until now. I was excited for it.

I stopped kissing him and sat up. He put his hands on my hips and watched me as I peeled my shirt off. I didn't have a bra on underneath. One of his hands immediately went to cup my breast. I took that hand and brought it up to my mouth. I ran his fingers along my bottom lip and kissed his fingertips. Then I looked down at him and said it. "I love you."

A huge grin spread across his face. He quickly sat up and kissed me. Our hands were roaming all over each other and we had started to breathe heavily. We both fought to get his shirt off and as soon as it was, I dug my nails into his bare back while I bit his earlobe and kissed my way down his neck. He was moaning and groaning and pressing himself up against me. 

I ran my hands down his bare chest and stomach to the waistband of his pants. I lifted myself up a little so I could undo the button and pull down the zipper. I reached my hand down underneath his boxers and grabbed him, feeling how excited he was. He pushed his pants down to his knees and then frantically worked to kick them off completely. I stood up over him on the bed and he reached up to yank my pants down my legs. I stood there looking down at him with nothing but my underwear on. He reached up again and grabbed my hips to pull me back down on top of him. 

I could feel how hard he was a lot better now with only the thin layers of our underwear between us. I started to move back and forth slowly, grinding against him. He was leaning his head back and biting his lip like he could have lost it right there. He put his hands on my hips again to get me to stop.

He looked at me and said, "Are you sure you're ready to do this?"

As soon as the word "yes" left my mouth, he reached down and pulled himself out of the opening of his boxers. And in one quick motion before I could even register what he was doing, he pulled my underwear to the side and was inside of me. We both let out a gasp at the feeling.

I pulled my hair back so he had a full view of me as I rode him. He didn't let me have control for long though and flipped me onto my back, framing my body with his. My head was in between his arms as he held onto the headboard behind me, his nose pressed up against mine. I wrapped my legs up and around his lower back as he moved in and out of me. He moved one of his hands from the headboard to grab both of my wrists and pin them up above me.

"I'm not gonna last long," he breathed. "I've been dreaming of doing this since I met you."

"I'm not gonna last long either," I panted. I had wanted him just as much.

He abruptly pulled out of me, got off the bed and dragged me by the hips to the edge of the bed. He dropped to his knees on the floor and draped my legs over his shoulders. He knew from experience that I was completely powerless when he went down on me. He started working his tongue expertly on me and when I told him I was about to come, he added two of his fingers inside of me. He was really fast and rough, but when I started to yell every curse word I knew and my legs started to shake, he slowed his fingers down and gently worked me through my orgasm.

My entire body was completely drained and I could have just laid right there in perfect bliss for the next couple of hours, but there was no way I wasn't going to see him get off first. I loved getting him off. So as soon as he stood back up, I pulled him down on top of me, guiding him to enter me again. I wrapped my legs back around him and wrapped my arms around his neck, encouraging him to go as deep as possible. It didn't take long before he went to pull out, but I wouldn't let him.

"Baby, I'm getting ready to - "

"It's okay, don't stop," I breathed.

He let out a moan and I felt him throbbing inside of me as he came. He stayed still on top of me until his breathing steadied a bit and then he pulled out and fell onto the bed next to me. He put one hand over his heart and closed his eyes. 

I closed mine too as I caught my breath.  "Wow," was all I could manage to say.

"Yeah?" He laughed.

"Yeah. Now I'm mad at myself for waiting that long," I laughed back.

I felt him turn onto his side towards me and then slowly run his fingers up and down the side of my body. I could feel him looking me over. His touch was giving me goosebumps. He leaned forward and gently kissed over my collarbones, breasts and stomach. Then he positioned himself so he was laying a little bit on top of me with his head resting on my chest.

"Hey," he whispered after a minute of quiet. I opened my eyes to look down at him. I had almost been asleep. He smiled his huge smile when he looked up at me. "Do you really love me?"

I ran my fingers through his hair and started twisting it around my fingers. "Of course I do. More than I've ever loved...anything. It's scary."

"You don't ever have to be scared with me," he moved his face up to kiss me. 

"I feel safe," I smiled.

He matched my smile and laid his head back down on my chest as he held me against him. I continued to play with his hair until we both fell asleep.