Cookie's POV
Finding everything out yesterday was a revelation of sorts. Lucious, lord my Lucious. I love him almost as much as I did way back when. I just can't let these feelings for him distract me from all the plans I have. First on the to - do - list is clean out all these old boxes and if I'm lucky I'll find something that still means something to me. That way my mind will hopefully be busy (Yeah right!)
The first box was cleaning supplies, so that was a good find since I'm cleaning. The second box however, was all Lucious' crap and I won't say I wasn't tempted to throw it all away. Maybe someday I'll drop it off to Empire for his lying, scheming, sexy ass. Hm, maybe not. The third box was mine, my journals about everything and nothing from since I met Lucious. Time to take a break and read. Wish I could still drink, sometimes pregnancy sucks the fun out everything..
After reading all the ridiculous shit I cared about back in the the day I was ready to give up and just throw them all out when skimming through a few entries I found gold.
"It Kills Me"
Oh yeah, I've got trouble with my friends
Trouble in my life
Problems when you don't come home at night
But when you do, you always start a fight
But I can't be alone
I need you to come on home
I know you're messing around
But who the hell else is, is gonna hold me down?
I gotta be out my mind
To think it's gonna work this time
A part of me wants to leave
But the other side still believes
And it kills me to know
How much I really love you
So much I wanna ooh, ooh, ooh
To you, ooh, ooh
Should I grab his cell, call this chick up
Start some shh, then hang up?
Or I should I be a lady?
Ooh, maybe 'cause I wanna have his babies?
Oh yeah, yeah
'Cause I don't wanna be alone
I don't need to be on my own
But I love this man
But some things I just can't stand
I gotta be out my mind
To think it's gonna work this time
A part of me wants to leave
But the other half still believes
And it kills me to know
How much I really love you
So much I wanna ooh, ooh, ooh
To you, ooh, ooh
Should I pay you back
To see how you react?
To see if you react to my love, my love
I gotta be out my mind
To think it's gonna work this time
A part of me wants to leave
But the other side still believes
And it kills me to know
How much I really love you
So much I wanna ooh, ooh, ooh
To you, ooh, ooh
And it kills me to know
How much I really love you
So much I wanna ooh, ooh, ooh
To you, ooh, ooh
Wow, memories. I was pregnant with Dre and I knew where Lucious was when he wasn't home. With one of those hoes he'd fuck when I was pregnant. He didn't cheat when I wasn't pregnant, I was fine then I guess it's ok to be with me then? Stupid ass Lucious listening to stupid ass Vern! I wonder how Lucious would feel if I brought this to the studio? Oo, Lucious probably turn two more shades of yella! I laughed out loud at that one, that's too funny.
Luscious POV
So many regrets going through my mind that I can't focus on any of this work in front of me. I know I've been a bad father and an even worse husband, I'd like the chance to fix all that.
(Beep)
"Mr. Lyon, Cookie's here. " Becky whispered through the intercom. I'll find out about that later.
"Let here in, Becky." I whispered back, I don't know why I did.
My door opened smoothly with my wife giving me a look I can only describe as a mom look.
"Whatchu whispering fuh huh, Lucious?" Cookie said with the door open.
I don't know, I guess that mom look got to me because my answer just shot out my mouth.
"She started it!" I said pointing at Becky.
The laughs I got from both women was to snap me back to attention.
"Ha ha, back to work, Becky." I said smiling at my mischievous assistant. She nodded stifling her giggles.
"How can I help you, Miss Cookie?" I asked Cookie as she sat in a chair in front the desk.
"I need studio time and the use of your soundboard." She said looking ready to fight, but she won't have to.
"Alright." I said taking the wind out of her sails.
"Alright? That's it? Ok, we'll see." She said looking skeptical like she got some shit for me. I'll take it, I owe her so much. I'd sign her with an open contract if she'd take it.
"I just want to sit in and maybe help.." I trailed off leaving it up to her.
"Uh, I don't know... Ok lead the way. " Cookie said as she stood up.
STUDIO
Cookie didn't really need any help with the soundboard or making beats, my baby knew what the hell she was doing.
Then she stepped behind the mic....
A/N: Sorry it me so long to update, my laptop crashed and I don't see me affording a new one anytime soon, but I'm trying to do this from my phone. Please hang in there with me.
ashmo2000
