Cigarette Daydreams ♱ Angel {1}

09: not a cheerleader type

Clutching my pillow tighter, I hug it to my body. Burying my face into the softness, I wish I didn't have to get up for school. I want to stay in dreamland. Especially the dream I had last night. Angel—his lips—especially his lips. I shouldn't build up expectations in my head about some guy I barely know. Groaning, I roll over, managing to roll off the side of the bed. Landing with a thud, I stay sprawled out on the floor, my limbs not wanting to get up.

"Is everything alright?" Mom asks as she opens the door. Peeking out from under the bed I can see her feet in her black flats. Her feet walk around my bed so she's standing at my feet. "Are you okay Lindsay?"

I nod, still staring blankly under my bed. Well, I found where all my socks seem to go. I should probably wash them as soon as possible. Finally getting up from the ground, I fix my tank top. "See? Perfectly fine." Walking past Mom, I don't miss the look of sadness cross her features.

"You've been acting different lately Lindsay. Are you sure everything is okay?"

I haven't told her what happened to Jesse, or that I was involved. She, along with the whole community, notice he's missing. She tried to talk to me about it, but I refused to. Jesse wasn't a close friend, but he was someone in my life—and I had to kill him. Given, the girl who bumped him caused the stake I was holding to go into his heart, but I still take responsibility.

"I'm fine Mom," I say, walking to the bathroom to start getting ready for school. As I'm going to grab my toothbrush I notice a third—a green one. Definitely not mine or Mom's. I turn, noticing her fidget in the doorway of the bathroom. "Was Dad here?"

She intertwines her fingers together, but before she can say anything I see her bedroom door open across the hall. Mom's eyes widen, and I'm met with my father walking out in boxers. He stops mid-stretch, making eye contact with me. "Shit," he murmurs, looking just as panicked as Mom does.

I bite the inside of my cheek, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of my attention. "Wow Mom," I snap before shutting the bathroom door and locking in. Mom tries to get me to open the door, but I refuse. My hands fists against the counter before my eyes look up to see me in the mirror. Tears—angry tears—are clouding my vision. Cursing, I hit my hand against the counter, pain seeps up my arm but I pay it no mind. I promised myself I will not shed any more tears for that man.

Getting ready is the quickest time yet, I race down the stairs and out the door. Mom yells after me, but once again I ignore her. I can't allow myself to play nice with that man sitting in our dining room. He left us, and he is no longer my father. He is a stranger.

                                                                                                *****

"Want to talk about it?" Willow asks at my locker.

I shake my head. "No," I slam it shut, wanting to just storm out of this place and go somewhere peaceful. I rest my forehead against the cool metal.

"I hate seeing you like this. Just let out your anger. Don't hold it in."

Clearing my throat, I straighten and look at my red headed friend. "You said Buffy wanted us at her tryouts right? Well, don't want to be late." Even though the last place I want to be is cheerleading tryouts.

We meet up with Buffy and Xander in the gym. Cheesy music is being played while girls warmup before tryouts. Crossing my arms against my chests, I watch with disinterest.

"Giles didn't approve huh?" Willow asks Buffy.

She is still sporting her cheerleading outfit, pompoms in her hands. So I take it she isn't taking Giles's opinion. "He totally lost his water. We haven't seen a vampire in over a week. I'd say he should get a girlfriend if he wasn't so old."

"Well, we're behind you," I add, smiling at Buffy. "Even though I'm not into the whole cheerleading thing, but I'll still support you."

"Please, you'd be a guy's dream if you were a cheerleader Lindsay," Xander says, trailing off to look at a girl, Amber I think her name is, doing the splits with two chairs. I slap his arm. "Oh, stretchy! Where was I?"

"Making a case for how if I was a cheerleader I'd be a guy's dream," I fill him in, giving him an intense glare.

He shrugs. "What? You have that kickass motorcycle chick image going. Add a skirt and being flexible to that list and you will have any guy wrapped around your finger."

Smirking, I add, "Already have the flexibility down."

Willow hits my arm playfully, but Xander is more focused on Buffy. "Oh, hey! Here's a good luck thing for tryouts." Xander pulls a bracelet out of his shirt pocket, handing it to Buffy.

She takes it. "What's this?"

"What's this?" Willow asks at the same time. I don't miss her look of distress.

"Oh, how sweet," Buffy says, smiling at Xander.

Looking over her shoulder I read the bracelets inscription, "Yours Always?"

"I-It came that way, really, they all said that," he says.

I nod my head, not believing him for a second. That boy has a crush on Buffy, and based off Willow's face she doesn't look too thrilled either.

Just as I thought today was looking up, Cordelia had to make her way over to us, giving Amber a sneer. "Just look at that Amber. Who does she think she is, a Laker Girl?"

"I heard she turned them down," I smirk at her, enjoying getting on her nerves.

Then the auditions start. A friend of Willow's, Amy, stands by us as Amber does her routine. I didn't know Amy was into cheerleading. She and I never really crossed paths before. We had a few classes, but other than that she mainly talked to Willow.

As we watch Amber, Amy leans over to Buffy saying, "She trained with Benson. He's one of the best coaches money can buy."

"They have cheerleading coaches?" I butt in. I didn't know there was such a thing. Given, I didn't pay too much about the cheerleading world.

Amy looks at me, nodding, "Oh, yeah!" She turns back to Buffy, clearly not interested in me. "Don't you have? I train with my mom, three hours in the morning, three at night."

Shaking my head, I murmur damn. I do not have that much commitment about anything.

As we continue watching Amber, I can see Cordelia's face screw up more with disconnect before she turns away from watching. Amber seems to be doing quite well, until I notice it. Her hands and—smoke. "What the?"

"That girl's on fire!" Willow exclaims.

"Enough of the hyperbole!" Cordelia snaps.

Taking her arm, I spin her around so she sees Amber. Everyone in the gym stares at the girl. Buffy takes a banner hanging up toward the back of the bleachers. Running towards Amber, Buffy tackles her to the ground, putting the fire out. Everyone is quite.

Shit. If that doesn't scream something supernatural then I don't know what does.