Way Exorcism Consultants

One: In Which Frank Gets a Job

The 'help wanted' portion of Frank's local newspaper seemed to be shrinking every day he checked it. It had been days of calling to find that someone was already hired, or going to interviews and being turned down. Maybe it was his tattoos, he pondered. As he poured over the ads, Frank half expected his heat to cut out; he hadn't been able to pay the bills in a month. He needed to pay rent, as well, before his landlord evicted him. He pulled out his phone as he saw an ad for a pizzeria, and dialed the number.

"Danny's Pizza," said the crackling voice over the phone.

"Hi, I'm calling about the help wanted ad I saw in today's newspaper?" Frank said, putting on his most polite tone.

"Spot's taken, kid. Sorry."

"It's okay. Thank you for your time."

Frank hung up and ran his fingers through his greasy hair. He'd need to take a shower soon. He returned to the ads, one sticking out to him: Way Exorcism Consultants, looking for an active person who follows orders. Good pay. Call for details.

Exorcism consultants? The ad seemed more like a joke than an actual inquiry, but Frank reasoned that even if it wasn't a prank, and someone actually answered the phone, it would still be a laugh. With that mindset, Frank called the number listed.

"Way Exorcism Consultants, this is Ray speaking." Frank was surprised someone actually answered.

"Hi, My name's Frank Iero. I'm calling about the ad--"

"You saw the ad!" The person, Ray, exclaimed. Muffled, like he'd turned away from the phone, Ray shouted "Do you hear that, Mikes! Someone saw it!"

"Um... yes I was wondering if you still had an opening?"

"Yes! Can you come in for an interview later today?"

"Yeah. Where are you located?"

"We're on South Street, next to the grocery store. Can you be there at three?"

"Yeah," Frank answered. "But... this isn't a prank, right? The ad is a little..."

"No, no, we aren't a prank. It's an actual business," Ray laughed. "See you at three?"

"Yeah. Thank you."

"No problem."

Frank hung up, baffled that it wasn't just a couple of teenagers fucking around and making a prank. There was still the chance that it was a very elaborate prank, but Frank, in the interest of actually getting a job, chose to believe that it was real. He got up from his seat on the couch and went into the bathroom to shower.

---

The walk from Frank's apartment to South Street was a pleasant one, taking him through a park filled with bright autumn leaves. Even if the job was a bust, he'd actually gotten out of the house. He reached South Street and soon saw the building next to the grocery store.

It was a brick building, four stories tall. The first floor was the office, with a huge tinted glass window under a sign reading 'Way Exorcism Consultants' in chipped white paint. With a deep breath, Frank pushed open the door and stepped into the cool office.

"Hello!" Came a chipper voice from behind a desk. Frank turned to see what was possibly a man but more likely just an afro. "I'm Ray, you must be here for the interview?"

"Hi--" Frank began, before he was cut off by Ray shouting "Mikey! Interview!"

Frank heard a crash from the back room and a tall, lanky man stumbled into the room. "Frank?"

"Yes. Hi," Frank said, slightly taken aback by the disorder of the place.

"Okay, okay," the tall man said. "Follow me?"

Frank followed him into a back room. There weren't any windows, or maybe there were, but it would have been covered by bookshelves. Every wall had bookshelves of different sizes pushed up against it, and there were even more books piled up on the ground. The man (Mikey, had Ray said?) picked his way around the towers of books towards a desk. Mikey sat down and motioned for Frank to sit down. Frank removed a few books from one of the two chairs facing the desk and sat down.

"So. You're Frank Iero," Mikey said.

"Yes."

"Where have you worked previously?"

"I worked at a repair shop, a couple of retail places... I have a resumé if you want," Frank said quickly.

"Nah," Mikey said waving his hand. "Do you follow instructions well?"

"Yes."

"Do you believe in ghosts, the occult, any gods, or anything of that sort?"

Frank, although knowing the name of the place, was still taken aback by the question. "I... I was raised Catholic. I have no reason to believe in anything though."

"That's alright."

"So what do you actually do here?"

"We help people who have issues with ghosts, the occasional low level demon, stuff like that. Anything we can't handle, we inform people who can help. We never turn a client away," Mikey said, leaning back in his chair. "The pay's not too good, but we can provide lodging. Ray finds it easier to work when he's nearby it constantly."

Despite the odd job description, at the prospect of cheap living, Frank perked his ears. "Where?" He asked.

"My brother and I own the whole building. There's two apartments above here, we share it all."

"So there's only three employees?"

Mikey shrugged. "Four if you want the job." Frank nodded eagerly. "Alright then, you're hired."

---

Thank you so much for reading. This is my first fanfic so any constructive criticism is welcome. Thank you!