Aftermath (An SVU Fanfiction) *EDITING*

The Urges

She laid there in his arms, sobbing and wishing it would end. The fact that she can't even look at her baby without crying without seeing Lewis kills her, makes her feel sick to her stomach. Not only that, but it seems like the nightmares are more frequent and worse now than ever.

"Do you think I'm a bad person?" she asks, barely audible.

"I think you're hurting and you.." His lips are moving, but she hears absolutely nothing. Olivia just wants to clash her mouth against his, even after that horrible nightmare, and she doesn't know why. She just knows that she'll go completely crazy if she doesn't. "..okay?"

Olivia nods her head and fixes her eyes on his lips. God, those lips are perfect. She gets closer to his face, debating on whether or not to act, making brief eye contact with him. She didn't even care that she looked like a hot mess with her stained face and runny nose. She needs him. Olivia takes a deep breath before lightly kissing him. That wasn't enough for her, but after what happened just a few hours before, there was no way in hell Elliot would allow her to go any further than kissing.

"Please, I don't know what else to do, El."

"You know this isn't the answer, or even an option." His raspy voice gave her chills and she isn't sure if she's capable of controlling herself. All the emotions, the built up tension, the fear, the anger, and lust.

"I um..I..please!"

"How can you even think about doing that after whatever dream you just had, after reliving that?"

"Does it matter? Can't you just let me love you?"

"I don't need that type of love.You need to let me love you,"

"Touching, that's all I need from you, El. All I want is for you to touch me," she begs. Olivia takes his hand in hers and places it on her upper thigh below the shirt that barely covered that much.

In all honesty, those same emotions filled Elliot, too, but at least one of them needed to be thinking clearly and it most certainly isn't Olivia. Debating, that's what he did for a few minutes, but his instinct as a man, as a human being with needs, gave in, and he slid his hand up further until his fingertips made contact with the lining of her underwear.

"And you're sure?"

She nods her head. "God, yes!"

He held the back of her neck and kissed her gently. Is it bad that in this vulnerable state Olivia is in, he wants her even more? It's like it makes her even more attractive. He feels like it's wrong, but he can't help it. Elliot ran his tongue along her bottom lip, asking for access to explore her mouth. Olivia opened her mouth, granting him the access he wanted from her.

Elliot pulled her panties down her hips and slipped his hand between her legs. Olivia gasped when their skin touched and let her head gracefully fall back. She wouldn't usually let him touch her like this, but it felt so good and she couldn't have him inside of her for another six weeks.

Elliot rubbed her slowly, gently, and it felt incredible! She, even in their best sexual encounters, had never him so badly, had never been so sensitive, and had never moaned so much, so loudly. You'd think she'd never done it before. Olivia was making noises he had heard only a handful of times and it drove him crazy! How much louder could she get?

"Oh my god, El, faster!" she pleads. Olivia pulled Elliot to her and kissed him hard and couldn't stop moaning into his mouth. "I need you, please!"

"We can't, babe-"

"Yes..we..can!" she says between kisses. When Elliot realized what she meant, he refused. That was something he wouldn't do to her, not when she's like this. Hell, he feels like shit for even doing the little bit he did tonight with her. They had only had anal sex a handful of times and it was pretty painful for Olivia. She never could last more than a couple of minutes.