The Secret I Tried to Keep

Chapter 9

(Fehtra in media.)

I sat in the passenger seat and released a breath. Zane stood, frozen on the sidewalk, looking after us shocked. He didn't move, even as we drove away.

"Did you tell him?" Cassie asked. I shook my head.

"No. I don't think I ever will," I said honestly. We drove in silence with me giving occasional directions until we reached my sister's clinic. As soon as we parked, we went inside. I checked in at the front desk and we sat in the waiting room. I bounced my leg nervously as Cassie and Aria held my hands. Finally, my sister came out of the side door that led to the back. I stood as soon as I saw her.

"Chandria," she breathed. She pulled me into a tight hug as soon as I was within reach. Fehtra led us to an examine room in the back. I sat on the flat, paper-covered table as Fehtra began taking my vitals. "Okay, start at the beginning," Fehtra said as she drew my blood. I told her the whole story from the beginning, including everything that happened today. She hesitated as she looked over my test results. She sighed and put down the papers.

"You're definitely pregnant, Chandria," Fehtra said with a sigh. "It's too early to see anything on an ultrasound, but we'll get you in as soon as that happens. Oh, Dria, what have you gotten yourself into," she said. I stood and got ready to leave when she pulled me into a hug.

"If you need anything at all, give me a call. There's always a place for you with Ben and me, okay? I'm so sorry about this. I have your back though, okay? If anything happens, you call me... immediately, got it? " she asked. I nodded with a small sad smile.

"Thank you, sis... I will," I said. After that, we left. We drove back to Aria's house. I half expected Zane to still be standing there but he was gone. I plopped down on Aria's bed and covered my face with my hands. What was I going to do?

~

The next day, I stood at my locker at the start of school exhausted. After Cassie dropped me at my house last night, I couldn't sleep. I yawned and put my backpack in my locker. A figure loomed at my side. I rolled my eyes when I saw Zane.

"What do you want, Zane?" I asked tiredly. He stepped closer.

"We need to talk," he said. He looked nervous. I sighed and closed my eyes briefly.

"Fine," I agreed. I didn't feel like fighting with him. I followed him to the empty music room while trying to look like I wasn't following him. Once the door was closed, I sat in a nearby chair and covered my face with my hands. I was just so tired and worn down.

"Dria, look at me... please," he practically begged. I hesitated before I looked to find him sitting in front of me. "Are you... are you pregnant?" he asked reluctantly. I looked away from him as I felt tears sting my eyes. He sighed and tugged his hair briefly. We sat in silence as that fact sunk in. I sniffled and wiped my tears away.

"I don't expect anything from you," I said quietly as I stood. Zane caught my arm gently.

"Are you really pregnant?" he asked. "I just... I need to hear you say it," he said almost desperately.

"I'm pregnant, Zane. Is that what you want to hear? Because of your hyperactive sperm and terrible timing, I'm having a baby," I snapped at him as I jerked my arm back.

"And you're sure it's mine?" he asked.

"I was a virgin before you, and I haven't slept with anyone else since. I'm not a slut like Paris," I said, appalled. I scoffed at him in disgust before I headed towards the door. "Go to hell, Zane," I said over my shoulder. He walked in front of me and held my arms.

"Dria, wait... here," he said. He fished through his wallet and held out a wad money. It was easily a few hundred dollars. My eyes widened as I stared at the wad. Who carries cash around like that? What teenager has cash like that?

"What is this for?" I asked cautiously, looking back to him.

"It's for the abortion," he explained. I glared and pushed him away.

"What is wrong with you?! What's done is done and it's my fault. I'm not going to end a life because it's convenient for me.... or you. And I'm definitely not using the money to do it. Money isn't going to make this go away, Zane! I'm not getting an abortion. And I just told you that I don't expect anything from you. You know, Cassie and Aria were right: your head in stuck so far up your ass, all you can see is your own shit. You only care about yourself. Did you ever even think what I'm about to go through? I will have to carry this baby for nine months. My body will be stretched and I'll look like some sort of whore. I'm going to be mocked and ridiculed by the entire student body for being pregnant. I got accepted into Harvard, MIT, Princeton, UCLA, University of Texas, and NYU. I have the highest GPA in our class because I work my ass off. Do you know where I'll probably go because of this? All of my money and time will be going to this baby," I yelled at him as tears streamed down my face. I wasn't sad though, I was angry.

"That's why you need this," he urged the money towards me. I glared at him and poked him in the chest.

"Get this through your thick skull: I'm not killing this baby because of my own mistake. Unlike you, I'm taking responsibility for my own actions. So do me a favor and stay away from me so I can pretend like this baby isn't yours," I seethed. He took a step back and held his hands up in surrender.

"I'm just trying to help," he said softer.

"Yeah, you're just trying to help yourself. Just fuck off, Zane," I said, taking a step back. I stepped around him and headed out the door to my class. I was late to class for the first time ever. Aria gave me a worried look as I slipped into my seat. The teacher let me slide, thankfully. I just couldn't find it in myself to pay attention or care. What would getting good grades get me now? I probably wouldn't be able to go to college. I just didn't care anymore. What was the point?