Always and Forever (A Ponyboy Fanfic)

Chapter 9

*Anna's POV*

I spent most of the day with my mom. It was seven o'clock, and Pony had gone home two hours earlier to catch up on sleep, which I don't understand since we went to bed fairly early last night. I had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, almost like he didn't want me anymore. As my mother ate her dinner in her bed, she looked at me as I was staring off.

"What's wrong sweetie?" my mother asked sadly.

I looked at her. "It's nothing, really. Just stupid thoughts" I replied

She raised an eyebrow. "They must not be that stupid if they're bugging you" she told me.

I sat still. "Today is about you. I don't have time to worry about stupid thoughts. This is about you and dad safely returning home" I replied, but caught what I said. "Almost safely" I added softly.

My mother frowned. "It's about Pony, isn't it?" she asked me.

I looked at her, startled. "No, no, it's not" I responded.

"Yes it is Anna. You're my daughter, I can practically read your mind" she told me, laughing. 

She laughed a little, and shrugged my shoulders.

"Go" she said to me. I looked at her, confused.

"Go, go talk to him about it" she told me, shooing me off.

"No, no way mom I'm not leaving you" I told her shaking my head.

She put her food down. "Go fix things with that boy and put your mind at peace. Your father and I aren't going anywhere. We're safe here" she convinced me.

I looked at her, stood up, and walked over to give her a hug. "I'll be back soon, okay? Rest up a little more" I told her.

"Don't worry about me" she told me. I nodded, and ran out the door.

It was raining outside, but I didn't care. My anxiety had me trapped in horrible thoughts. I feel like staying with Pony was a huge burden on him. My mind raced with these thoughts as I ran in the rain, with each step thudding on the ground.

When I got to Pony's, neither Darry's nor Soda's cars were there, so I assumed they were gone.

Soaking wet, I swung open his front door and ran inside. "Pony!" I shouted.

I heard a noise come from his room, and then he came running out. "Anna, what the hell are you doing? You're soaked!" he exclaimed.

I dropped to my knees, trying to catch my breath. "Did you run here?" he asked as he walked up to me and kneeled next to me.

"I'm sorry" I immediately said. He looked confused.

"For what Anna?" he asked, his voice still raised.

"For being a burden on you these past two weeks" I told him.

He shook his head. "No, no. Where the hell is all of this coming from?" he asked me, stroking my cheek.

I looked into his greenish eyes that had the perfect tint of grey. "I don't know, it's coming from anxiety I guess" I told him, taking his hand into mine.

"Why are you anxious, Anna?" he asked me. It was then that I realized, I've never told him about my generalized anxiety diagnosis from when I was thirteen. It hit me that I was going to have to explain myself to him. I would have to explain how dysfunctional and how much my life has been affected by this. I instantly started crying.

"Anna honey come here" he said, picking me up bridal style and carrying my into his bed with him. "Just breath, and explain when you're calm" he told me, rubbing my back.

I took a few deep breaths, and once I was settled I began to speak.

"I was just nervous that I've been a burden to you. When we were at the hospital, and you told me that you were going home because you were tired and wanted to catch up on sleep, I got worried. I remembered that we went to bed really early, and you could've gotten plenty of sleep. I just thought it was an excuse to get away from me, to avoid me. Then when I ran all the way here, my senses finally got to me, and I remembered all of the things you said to me the second day after we had gotten together. How you told me you fell in love with me the moment you saw me, and how you held me Christmas morning as I cried at the fact that I couldn't spend the day with my family. Then, I realized I'd have to explain myself, and why I had that minor anxiety attack, and I thought for sure you'd think I'm a freak. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety when I was thirteen. I get like this a lot, I'm so sorry. I love you Ponyboy, I can never ever lose you" I finished.

He looked at me, astonished. "I understand" he said nodding. "I didn't get much sleep, though. Hardly any, actually" he told me.

"What, why?" I asked him confused.

He smiled at me. "Well, since we're sharing things, I write. I write novels" he said. "I was writing, and observing how beautiful you were as you slept" he told me.

I started crying again. "Do you know how wonderful you are?" I asked him.

He smiled. "Not as wonderful as you, my dear" he told me. 

All of a sudden, I was hit with crazed affection. My love for him grew deep in that moment. I felt like I could pounce on him any second. I wanted him to know he was mine and I was his.

"I'm in love with you Ponyboy Curtis" I told him, my affection buzzing.

"I'm in love with you, Anna Ferris" he replied back.

He stared a little while, and saw the affection in my eyes. His pupils dilated, and soon his were filled with the same affection.

"I really really love you" he said. "I really do" he continued.

"I really do too" I replied to him. I was fully concentrated on my love for him.

"Really..love you" he told me, as he rushed across the bed and pulled my face into his hands as he kissed me hard.

I kissed back, very hard as it all escalated. Our love, our kiss, our touch physically and mentally.

This is the beauty of mine and Ponyboy's love, nothing will ever replace it.