Forever Yours, Sunshine.

Chapter Eight.

July goes by so fast, it should be issued a speeding ticket. Calvin doesn't say the "L" word, and neither do I. I'm sticking to my resolute. Calvin will say it first.

"Baaaabe," Calvin whines. "Why are we up so early?"

Calvin and I are up at eight-thirty, setting up to take pictures of the ocean. "Calv, one of the first times I even talked to you was at like, seven in the morning. What's so different about today?"

"When you saw me, I was training for a race. That was last week. Now, I can just be lazy."

I giggle at him as he flops down on the sand. "You're something else."

He rolls over onto his stomach, wiggling his eyebrows at me. God, could he seriously be anymore gorgeous? "Well, you're a different kind of something."

"Oh yeah? Wanna fight on it?" I say, feigning fury.

"Let's go, baby."

He grabs my ankle, and pulls me down. "Hey!"

I grab his shoulder to steady myself, but I'm on my back, laughing my head off. I see Calvin's head hover above mine, and he's watching my mouth like a hawk. I look him in the eyes, smiling. "What? Already wimping out?"

"You're so beautiful," he whispers.

My breath catches, and he leans in. He brushes his lips slowly across mine, and I think my heart almost fails. "That's fighting dirty, Daniels."

"Oh yeah, Collins?" he breathes. "Take this." He presses his lips harder against my mouth, and this first kiss is none other. Its nothing like my first kiss with Kyle, which was awkward. No, this kiss is slow, romantic, and sweet. Our lips move together like that's what they were made to do, and when we breathe, everything within me is alive. I run my hand through his hair, and he looks at me, his eyes lit up.

"You don't play fair at all. I'll remember that next time," I say.

"I love you."

:)                                                 :)

"WHAT!" Sammy is always screaming, I swear it. "He said 'I love you'?! Did you say it back?"

"Of course! Once I got my heart out of the clouds, that is." I sigh, dreaming of that instant this morning. "He really was something else."

"I can't believe you guy's haven't even kissed 'til now. It's almost mid-August! Fair is in two weeks!"

My heart tugs at this thought: And three weeks until he goes home for a whole year. "I know, I know. I got my photo this morning though."

It really was breathtaking. The water was just right, a little wave resting just under the sun, and the shimmer of the sunlight dancing across the water was the perfect detail. It was a shoo-in.

"I think I crapped my pants. Calvin. Said. I love you. I'm so stinkin' happy," Sammy practically jumps.

"Yeah, that was basically my reaction. The way he kissed me, like he had all the time in the world, gave me hope."

Sammy stops suddenly. "Oh. That's right. Columbus." She bites her lip. "What's going to happen?"

"He won't let me go. He promised, with everything he had," I say, more to myself than to her.

"I hope so, Sun. I really, really hope so."

:)                                             :)

The waves crash against the rocks, and I watch from my little spot on the beach. My emotions are all jumbled together, and I just don't know what to do. My heart is screaming, Wait on him, wait on him!, but the more logical side to me is saying, This shouldn't have even started. Now look. You'll be a mess when he leaves.

I don't want to think about any of it. I just want to feel like I have a solid foundation. Calvin will stay with me. He'll visit... He's got to. He loves me, and I love him. No matter what you say, self, I think, I'm trusting him. Because he loves me.

Yeah. He loves me. I sit up a little straighter, but then the thought comes crashing down. Will I be able to handle him leaving? Could I do it?

Will he still be interested?

Its easy to fall in love when he can see me everyday, but what happens when he leaves? When the closest he can get to seeing me is an e-mailed picture? The thoughts of dumping him run across my mind, but the pain that follows is unbearable. I can't do it. I don't want him to leave me. A whole year without his smile, without his laugh, or the even the comfortable way we can sit in silence.  I don't want to do it.

It'll hurt. He'll go back to Columbus, find another pretty girl, and never look back. Cut it off now, and you can save yourself the pain of never knowing why.

I cry into my shirt sleeve. If I let him go now, I'll know why it ended. I love him, so much that I can't bear the thought of losing him to someone else.

What am I going to do?