Everyone crowded round as Harry poured strands of wispy memory into the pensive.
'So this is my second year and Ginny's first' Harry informed.
'Harry! Tie this to the bars on your window!' Ron yelled to Harry.
Once the bars were gone, Fred and George climbed through the window and Fred produced an ordinary muggle hairpin and proceeded to pick the locks on Harry's door.
As he did so, Harry asked ,' Fred, where did you learn?'
Fred and George were in too much shock that Harry could tell them apart that they forgot to answer the question.
'Harry! Try telling us apart again!' George challenged
'Okay, George!' Harry yelled back 'Oops , already did it!'
Everyone laughed at the twins faces.
The Weasleys and Harry entered Flourish and Blots to see a long line of people going all the way to the back of the shop.
There was a tall, blond haired man standing in front of a pile of books with the same stupid smiling face looking up.
'But it can't be! Harry Potter!' he exclaimed, pulling Harry over and getting someone to take a picture of the two of them, much to Harry's discomfort.
Harry looked ready to bolt as Lockhart started speaking, 'Now is the perfect time to announce something I have been sitting on for a long time' He paused for effect. ' Harry and all his classmates will be getting the real Magical Me in the form of their Defence against the dark arts teacher!'
At this point, Harry took the chance to run over to Ginny and dump all the books Lockhart gave him in her cauldron.
'Gosh! T-t-thanks Harry!' Ginny stuttered, blushing a deep Scarlett.
She cursed herself for not being able to talk to him without blushing.
'Aww Ginny you were so cute!' Lily gushed
Ginny went the same deep Scarlett as the memory.
'Ah, that's my boy! Girls are so nervous around him!' James joked
Harry went the same colour as Ginny.
Fast forward to Hogwarts
Both boys screamed as the Ford Anglia crashed into the Womping Willow.
'Harry! My wand's broken!' The twins sniggers but were silenced by Molly hitting them over the head.
Ron looked very alarmed as a strand of unicorn hair poked through.
'Be thankful it's not your neck' came Harry's reply.
.................
Harry and Ron peered into the Great Hall and up at the Staff Table.
Their eyes scanned the row until they spotted the empty seat.
'Where's Snape?' Harry asked
'Maybe he was fired'
'Or maybe he left, I mean no one likes him anyways'
'Or maybe he's waiting to hear why you two didn't show up at the Feast' An icy voice cut through their wonderings and they spun round to see the gaunt face of Severus Snape glaring down at them.
.................
The first breakfast back and a large tawny owl swooped down and landed in Ron's cornflakes.
'Bloody birds a menace' Ron muttered as he untied the letter from Errol's leg and paling when he noticed it was Scarlett.
RONALD WEASLEY! HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR! YOUR FATHER IS NOT FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK AND ITS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! IF YOU STEP ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME!' With the last shrill cry of Mrs Weasley, the letter burst into flames.
Slowly, Ron's facial expression not helping. The Great Hall erupted into laughter.
.................
'Today, I'm going to give you all a small quiz to see how well you read my books' Lockhart handed a sheaf of parchment to everyone.
It started with 1) What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favourite colour? Until finally, 56) When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday and what would his ideal present be?
Remus actually fell over he laughed so hard.
Once they were done, and Hermione had won her signed copy of Magical Me, Lockhart brandished his wand like a sword and removed the cover on a large cage of.......
'Cornish Pixies?' Seamus was laughing so hard he cried and soon the rest of the class joined in.
'Let's see what you make of them!'
After the bell rang and the class was all but gone, Lockhart told Harry, Ron and Hermione to sort them out before running out.
'I can't believe he made three second years deal with a cage full of pixies!' Lily and Molly said furiously
HER SKELETON WILL LIE IN THE CHAMBER FOREVER
Harry and Ron figured out what they needed to do, dragging a protesting Lockhart with them.
Harry spoke parstletounge to open the Chamber of Secrets.
Everyone laughed as Harry shoved Lockhart down first and James congratulated Harry on speaking parstletounge, saying it would come in handy for pranks.
..............
Harry stabbed the Basilisk and the diary and saved himself and Ginny by stabbing the diary only to be saved by Fawkes healing his arm.
Ginny woke up and hugged Harry, thanking him for saving her.
...........
'So that was my second year' Harry said
'Oh I can't believe you had to go through so much!' Lily hugged Harry then Ron and Hermione in turn.
'Okay it's late and I want everyone to go to bed!' Molly announced and held the door open for everyone to leave.
.............
Harry woke the whole house and the painting of Mrs Black at three that morning from a nightmare.
At first it was only Ron, trying to wake Harry to no avail as he called out to Cedric and his parents.
When Ron was about to wake everyone else, he was saved the task bumpy Harry sitting up screaming. When he noticed he had an audience, (everyone else had gotten up by then), he simply said he was fine and pretended to go back to sleep making everyone leave as he wiped his tears on the beads get.
