Brilliant Bones

Dog Days are Over

Conner

Whatever they told you is not true. If you don't know what I'm talking about then you shouldn't worry. If you do know what I'm talking about, then'll I'll promise you that I was't the one to take that picture of Olivia Roberts. Just because she has a hot bod and a smile that makes you wonder if you're good person or not, I would never go all stalker on her. I don't why everyone pointed at me when it happened, I was probably one of the last people to hear about it. Everyone thought it was me because my thought process is identical to a retarded person and everyone thinks I'm pretty dumb even though I hold an 80% average in Lunch and Art.
They actually don't grade us on Lunch but I think would hold an 80% average because I eat well. I make chicken sandwiches with cucumbers for myself along with a banana and boiled egg. Most of the kids just buy lunch from our gross cafeteria that serves pizza that looks like plastic and salads that have sugar in them.
I'm a pretty good artist, I draw quite good cats...people cats. I like to insert people's faces into cat like figures and then they're like cat figures. I started doing it in middle school, my first one was my Mom who was so pleasured with it that she hung it up on the kitchen fridge and later framed it on the kitchen wall. My fifteen year old sister , Kaia who most people think is my twin because she looks like a senior and acts more like a senior than me, says that my cat-people portraits are the most retarded thing to ever happen to man.
She told me this when she was ten years old.
Being a stupid twelve year old, I got the impression that she was just being cynical so I decided to do her.
"Why did you chose to make me a ginger cat"? She asked me.
"Because ginger cats are grumpy and cynical and miserable like you".
I was lucky and my mom grabbed the portrait so Kaia wouldn't tear it up and she framed it along with my other portrait.
"Why does the whole world have to see it"?! Kaia whined.
"Because it's your brother's art". Mom responded.
"Well as I'm the one in the painting, I should get a right to say who sees it!"
She didn't get the right. I later did ones of my dad, my now fourteen-year-old sister ,Laura and my best friends, Sid and Jessie. Now that I've told you about my best friends, it all comes down to who took that picture Olivia. Do you know what a lesbian is? I'm asking because I only found out when I was thirteen because I don't pay a lot of attention to things and therefore start learning things late.
Of course you know what a lesbian is, I'm the only one who took thirteen years to find out what female homosexuality was. Well , my best friend, Jessie is a lesbian. Sid, Jessie and I have been friends since kindergarten and know all of each other's  darkest secrets. She was also friends with Olivia Roberts, was. Jessie came out to us when we were thirteen, that was how I found out what a lesbian was.
"How do you not know what a lesbian is, Conner"?! She yelled at me like it was a crime for not knowing what a lesbian was.
"I bet even Kaia and Laura know what a lesbian is!" She carried on yelling at me.
They did, I asked them when I got home.
"What do you think happens in Glee"? Kaia said to me.
I thought there was only such thing as a gay dude, not a gay girl.
Well, Jessie only came out to Olivia in late January 2015 . The reason was because Jessie had started seeing this girl from her Math class named Lizzie and decided to come clean with Olivia when a date conflicted with her and Olivia's plan. We also learnt through that experience that when Olivia get bored, she reveals secrets. She didn't even keep Jessie's secret for a week before she told everyone. Jessie got bullied by so many of the kids that it actually sucked.
Sorry if you think that using the word 'sucked' or 'actually sucked' is not the way a writer is supposed to describe things, but I'm not a writer.
I'm just a guy with an interesting life and therefore you should be grateful I'm sharing it with you. Being Jessie,she ignored it and went into a relationship with Lizzie. The teasing and bullying went on to a long extent-like two or three months, an extent that led to Lizzie broke up with Jessie , that led to Sid and I having to be the girlfriends she never had. We bought five boxes of tissues, chocolate, fat-free ice cream as Jessie said she's actually kill us if we bought her full cream.
Why are girls so sensitive? I don't really why girls worry so much about fat free things, Kaia and Laura aren't the skinniest people on the planet and they feel self-continuos in a bikini but they run and keep fit.
Isn't that the only important thing, to be healthy? I'm not really attracted to skinny girls, I only like them if they're friendly. I really like curvy girls, I'll even tell you that I had a dirty dream about Jessie who has some beautiful curves when I was fourteen but I knew I couldn't have the dream because Jessie's a lesbian.
Anyway, we also got her a I'm sorry she dumped you card which was originally made for a guy but when we asked one of the workers at the store of they had a lesbian version of the card, the woman looked criticized and said no. So we just decided to just get the one we had.
Lastly, we set up her favorite movie, Juno on her computer for us to watch. She was pointing out what happens when you fall in love, you get knocked up and pregnant. I told her that there wouldn't be a plot if Juno hadn't got knocked up but the she yelled and me for not letting her have her peace during this hard period. We were actually supposed to working on the underground paper that we ran as we had been kicked out of our school paper because I attached the wrong image to an article.
It seems everyone in this damn town knows what the photo was so I'm not going to waste your time and repeat it. Jessie and Sid quit after I was kicked out and we began running a underground paper called 'The JCS 'which are the initials of all our names. We began writing about our thoughts of the assholes in our school, movie,music and book reviews and important news.
Like an example of important news is when Lana Del Rey's new album, Honeymoon is coming out, that's really important.
Well, we didn't get to write about that for a reason I'm about to tell you.  Jessie would've written that, even though we all love Lana, Jessie loves her the most.
"She says in her new song, High by the Beach that 'you could be a bad motherfucker', I wonder if I'm the 'you'". This was a huge topic for Jessie when the song came out in August. We eventually told her she was the motherfucker and she finally kept quiet.
On the night of Jessie's breakup ,the JSC was short of a front cover story and I came up with the suggestion of making it about this freshman named Gabrielle Henstridge Osborne who had begun encouraging more kids to go the library by putting up all this decorated posters around the school.
"Conner, we write negative things because everyone except us are assholes and therefore we are not going to write about a innocent little freshman who isn't an asshole yet!" Jessie said.
If you haven't noticed, Sid doesn't talk a lot and Jessie can be a real bitch when she want to and is way too opinionated. She also talks too much.
So my innocent idea was out of the picture.
"We could always write about Juno and teenage pregnancy as we've recently watched it". Sid finally suggested.
"We're not the fucking PTA, I'm not teaching Preasly how to put a fucking condom on!"
Usually, Sid and I  would've told Jessie that she was being rude a well as a 'b with an itch' as she attempted to throw a glass at us the last time I called her bitch. She says it sexist to call a woman a bitch and that she had every right to kill me that day. But Jessie was going through a hard time so we gave her more space.
Finally, Jessie says she had to go out for about an hour.
"Why? What are you doing"? Sid asked her.
"I'm going to go the Academy of Motion Picture studios to complain that An Education and The Theory of Everything should've won Best Picture and not that The Hurt Locker and Birdman bullshit".
"I liked The Hurt-"
"It was so fucking boring that I wanted to cry and die!"
Sid looked hurt as Jessie had just argued with his opinion.
"What was wrong with Birdman"? Sid asked, not standing down.
"Who wants to watch a movie with some schizophrenic dude who thinks he's a fucking superhero"?!
"He's not schizophrenic". I added.
"Have you even watched the movie"? Sid asked.
"No! I'm not watching that shit!"
"Cynic". I said, a smirk on my face.
She smiled and left, we still didn't know what she was doing.