The Widowed

Chapter 2: Losing Noah

I feel my body go limp and the next thing I know my knees have crashed with the hard ground and I'm crying desperately into my hands. Today was supposed to be one of the best days of my life and now I can't get the horrid memories out of my mind.

I hear a loud knock at my door and I quickly finish drying a plate before I turn my attention to the noise that seems to be getting louder and louder. My jaw drops slightly when I see 3 police officers standing there with their lips pursed.

"What's going on?" I ask dropping my hand from the door knob.

"Ma'am why don't we talk inside," one of the officers, Officer Coleman, says after looking at the other men with him.

"Sure," I breathe out scared of the news I might receive.

"It's your son he-," I don't let him finish his sentence before I start wailing and I drop down on my knees and cover my face.

My eyes shoot open and I can't seem to move, my body feels like it's frozen. I know for sure my husband is dead, but now I'm not so sure about my son. They never did find the plane or the bodies, everybody just assumed there was a plane crash after it never turned up at the camp they were supposed to attend. Noah was so excited to go to Camp Alpine for the summer with all of his friends. It was my fault that he and all of his friends died, I was the one who found the camp and I got David, Ember, Alex, and Harlyn on board with the idea of sending our kids.

"It was my fault," I whisper.

"Nothing is your fault Teegan," my psychiatrist, Dr. Myers, says trying to soothe me. I look around and come to the realization that I'm back at my own house. I shake off the question I'm dying to ask, which is how I got here.

"It was," I whisper even softer this time," I'm the one who found the camp and who begged the rest to let their kids go too."

"Shh shh," he says stroking my arm," It's ok."

I let myself drift off into sleep once again to the sound of his voice, but not before I remind myself to think of the happy memories.

 Bye sweetie I love you so much!" I call out to Noah as he begins to walk to the plane.

"Bye mom I love you!" he waves and then blows a kiss as he reaches the line to board the plane. I smile at him and he smiles back before slipping away with the other kids. We watch as the plane takes off and I attempt to not cry but I can't help myself.

"I'm going to miss you bud," I whisper.

I then let my thoughts drift to how he looks. I can see him swinging on his favorite swing in Central Park. I can still see his wide smile and his goofy laugh, I remember him turning his attention towards me and he waves. I smile and wave back as he lets the wind blow his blonde curls over his beautiful eyes, he shakes his head slightly to free his face from his hair. He used to do that all the time.

"I saw him," I whisper keeping my eyes closed.

"Saw who Teegan?" Dr. Myers asks me softly.

"Noah. In front of your office."

I hear him sigh and I open my eyes just in time to see him finishing closing his. I watch him breathe in through his nose then out through his mouth, his chest rising slightly every time. I wait for him to say something but he doesn't, instead he keeps his eyes closed and he appears to be very focused on hsi breathing.

"Don't you remember when Ember thought she saw Brinley in front of your office last week?" I ask forcefully, but he keeps his eyes shut," What're the odds that both our children die in the same airplane and then we see them on the same day a week apart at the same spot? Can you explain that doctor?!"

"Calm down Teegan," he says after I jump and start screaming at him. I immediately regret it.

"I'm sorry," I mutter as I slump back down in my chair," It's just hard."

"I understand," he says scooting his chair closer to mine," It's going to be ok. Do you trust me?" I nod my head and give him a half smile. I'm still not quite sure now if my son really is dead, but I decide to let it go. Until David sees something the next week he thought he would never see.  

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Hope you all are enjoying my story so far! Don't forget to check out my other stories. Love you all<3 :)

Stay beautiful, Stay weird, Stay amazing

~Annalise