Strings

And To Think

Days have passed by since the whole Cameron thing and honestly I can't stop thinking about it. I know it's wrong for me to even have thoughts of another man when I married but I can't help it. "What's wrong with you?" Nicholas asked while opening a jar for me. Things haven't been as good as they could but it seems for right now we're just tolerating each other.

"Nothing." I said shaking my head and grabbing the jar. "I've known you long enough to know when something is wrong with my wife." He said leaning against the counter. "Well obviously you don't know me then." I said walking over to stove. He sighed before I felt him wrap his arms around my waist from behind.

"Whatever happened to us?" He said resting his head on my shoulder. "You treated me like trash, I forgave you.. we had sex I got pregnant..we got married, you cheated on me, and like always I forgave you." I mumbled. "Oh come on talia, I'm not the only one thats screwed this marriage up." Nicholas yelled pulling away from me.

"Lower your voice please? I just put Jamie down for a nap." Honestly, I'm tired of yelling and fighting like dogs with Nicholas. It's given me headaches and has had me a nervous wreck. "Lower my fucking voice? This is my house Natalia." He said angrily.

"Why do you constantly have to rub that in my face?" I said turning off the stove. "Because it wasn't along ago when we both didn't have anything but the clothes on our back." I continued. I'm so tired of him making me feel like I'm worthless because he's done things I haven't and he has the money and I don't.

My cellphone rang and I reached for it but Nicholas grabbed it before I did. "Cameron? What you fucking him now or something?" Nicholas said. "Why would you even think to say something like that?" I said reaching for the phone. He pulled away before I could get it. "Hello?" He said answering.

"Give me my phone Nicholas." I whispered. I'm still not trying to wake Jamie up from her nap. "I don't understand kid, but I guess you can't take a fucking hint. This is my wife and my daughter and nobody's taking them away from me and that includes you." He said hanging up the phone.

"That's not right." I said angrily. "What's not right is you prancing around here like you can do no fucking wrong, because I remember not to long ago you didn't even want Amelia. I had to beg you to keep her and now you want to make me out to be the bad parent?" Nicholas yelled.

Oh I'm about done with this shit. "You are not going to fucking throw that shit in my face, you arrogant piece of trash." I said pushing him.

And to fucking think I felt bad about the kiss with Cameron.