BROWN SKIN | BOOK 1

|| C H A P T E R . 20 ||

We ran.

I never ran so fast in my life. I could've sworn—, shit, I try not to swear to God because saying his name in vain sounds toxic and I learned that from the churchgoers and church folk the other day when Jewelz continued pressing faith on me. But there was so much silence in the background before it happened.

Just feet pounding the life out of the ground as gravel caved in on the infrastructure.

Fire, I swear, there's a fire, fire, my body was on fire! My feet burned into the cemented grey grains as I stomped lumped cement in my soles. The intense heat would blister my running body and if I even halted, for just a second, I would see how scalded my arms were too! They were scalded to the bones, skimming flimsly by my sides for a getaway. Please don't buckle your knees in Ebonee and go far far away or you could be a goner.

My life could be over and you may take this as a figurative fairytale speech but this was a literal issue because if we don't make it. . . If we don't run fast enough, we could potentially die, our graves the countryside road. Critical and biting eulogies would go around between the cows, horses, and other farm animals behind the fences. Talk about us amongst each other of how foolish we could be. They would witness the deadly incidents by two teenagers but not able to do one thing about it.

After all, no one will ask about us in a couple of months.

We'll be old news that will never cycle around again.

  — Ebonee  

It's been a week since I've seen Beau.

He's never called nor texted me and no one's heard from him either or seen where he went. I would sometimes have the courage to ask random people in the restaurant and always get turned down. Simone was too preoccupied with juggling Malik and her mistress, but the male version, the middle eastern guy. Jewelz had to look after the babies and Andre was always in and out of the house clueless to my surroundings.

The light was bright enough to blind my eyes in the dark. The LED lights glared directly at me as I checked notifications to see any phone calls or texts came in. From Beau mostly specifically. I hated doing the same routine, the constant notion of having high hopes everytime I checked, I prepared myself with great disappointment. It came to that replacement. Heavily sighing at the dryness of my phone, I threw it down by my side of the bed where Beau would lie for comfort and often times leave. It didn't provide the same comfort he gave though when I tried to fall asleep.

The stars were happily out tonight and it made me smile a little. I wondered if you admired them and never got the chance to tell me. Or even believe in them because I wasn't going to lay here and pray to the stars or God, if He chooses to listen, to ask for more great high-hoped disappointment. I wondered if you cared if I were thinking about you, or you of me. Maybe I said something wrong and didn't check my mouth before I opened it so it wouldn't scare you away like the others. Maybe he has given up on this and I was a boring bum after all, I don't know.

If he's feeling this way, he's freaking good at hiding it, but I wouldn't mind.

I wouldn't mind because I've cried rivers before and I'm used to pain. It doesn't hurt anymore. Not like the first time.