Dreaming Alone: The Final Book (JohnnieGuilbertFic)

Part of Me

"Don't let me go down this road again. We both know where this ends. In a storm of feeling, I'm so unappealing I can't play these games."

The buzzing of the needle continues as I watch Mark do his thing, finishing the outline on Johnnie's piece. He's not halfway done and Johnnie is already squeezing my hand so tight. I don't mind. I want him to feel calm and know that I'm here. Kyle is on the other side filming the process for Johnnie's video. He's staying here for a few days before going back home for the holidays. It was nice seeing him around, especially because I knew he made Hayley happy.

"Done with that." Mark says as he turns off his machine. "Want to take a break before I start up again?"

"That'd be nice." Johnnie says as he carefully sits back up on the chair.

Marks gives him a pat on the back. "You're doing good so far. Just keep that positive energy and the rest will be smooth sailing."

He gets up from his seat and walks over to his desk. I get up and follow him to give Johnnie some space and to check out the footage Kyle filmed.

"He's sitting like a champ for a chest piece. Thought he'd tap out sooner." Mark chuckles

"He's wanted this for a while. Think he has the right mindset."

He nods. "So how have you guys been? We really haven't had the chance to talk since you got here."

Mark has always been the person I always talked to about my issues with Johnnie. He pretty much knew what was going on. He was the person that really I understood my situation. And he always listens and gives me advice. It's a bond that we share.

"It's getting there." I'm not really sure what to say.

"Still not sure if you want to be with him?"

"I do but....is it bad to think that way?"

He laughs and puts his hand on my shoulder. "You two are still kids. Don't forget that. And you have plenty of time to figure things out. It's okay to feel like you should think things through before taking the next step. But the way I see it, you still love him. Just like he does."

"Don't start getting mushy and lovey on me now Mark." I joke. "But thanks for that."

"Just want best for you kid. And don't worry I gave this talk to Hayley too. Let's get right back at it." He walks back over to Johnnie. "Ready for round two?"

"Let's get this over with." He slumps back down on the chair and closes his eyes.

I smile as I take his hand back. "Get any good footage?" I ask Kyle.

"Tons. This is going to be a sick video."

"Thanks for being here." Johnnie says to me.

"Wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

As the machine starts up again and Mark continues his work, I look over to Johnnie, who has his eyes closed, and smile. Thinking back to a familiar memory. When I first met Johnnie...

...

"Hey, um nice to meet you." I say and try to get back to my music. I'm really not good at socializing. And still not in the best mood about having to move.

"Um so you're going on a trip or something? To San Jose I mean."

I take my headphones off knowing that I'm in for a conversation I can't escape.

"Actually I'm moving. My parent's job had them relocate and well here I am."

"You don't seem too thrilled about it."