Dreaming Alone: The Final Book (JohnnieGuilbertFic)

Let Go

"The more I've tried to fix it the more it messes up. This is a dead end road when I let fear drive."

It's the end of the day and we're just laying in bed getting ready to sleep. Tomorrow we were meeting up with Adri and Peter which I'm really excited about! I haven't seen them since the summer and I really missed them, especially Adri. Being on different time zones and being super busy with school, we don't talk as often as we want. It's going to be great catching up. I look over to Johnnie who's just staring up at the ceiling. He has that look on his face, his sort of thinking face as if something's on his mind. I poke at his cheek. He looks over to me and smiles. He carefully turns over so that he's facing me.

"What you thinking about?"

He shakes his head. "Nothing. Just how much I love you."

"You're such a goof."

He laughs. "I mean it."

I smile to him. "So what were you and Mark talking about?"

"Oh nothing just aftercare stuff and talking about my next tattoo."

"Already thinking about the next one? You were close to tapping out on this one."

"I was not! You heard Mark, I did good!"

I roll my eyes. "Whatever you say Johnnie."

He smiles to me and places his hand over my hip. He gazes into my eyes without saying a word. Even in the dark I can see the familiar blue in his eyes. The ones that always melt my heart.

"What?" I can't help but giggle.

"Nothing. Just that...I love you. I really do."

"Do you now?"

He nods. "So much."

"How much?" I stroke the back of his head moving closer to him.

"I love you more than you'll ever know. I can't even put it into words. But I know I'll be broken if I ever lost you again. I don't want to know what it's like to not be with you again."

I stop stroking his hair and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him close for a hug.

"Ow ow my chest."

I quickly pull away from him, forgetting his chest is still swollen. "Sorry. I forgot."

"It's fine." He softly kisses me and wraps his arms around my hips. "I can deal with a little pain just to be with you." He kisses me again. "Do you love me?" He asks.

"You know I do."

"Do you mean it?"

I push his hair away from his forehead and place mine on his, staring into his eyes. "Yes. I do mean it."

"So say it." He whispers.

"I love you." I whisper back.

"Say it again." He whispers again, softer this time.

"I love you." I repeat in his tone.

"Again."

I can't help but smile at his little game. I press my lips onto his before I can say anything else. Expressing my love for him in just a single kiss. I pull away and move closer to his ear. "I. Love. You."

He swiftly kisses my cheek before pulling me on top of him. "I would do so many things to you right now...but we have to wake up early and you know that I'm not a morning person to begin with so goodnight." With that he moves me over so that I'm lying next to him again. He rolls over so his back is facing me.