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Part 5: Teardrops and Pain

When Marinette woke up the next morning, the pain was so bad that she actually cried out. The doctor had said that her body was still in shock and probably wouldn't feel the full extent of her pain for a couple of days so it made sense to for her to feel such pain, but it still shocked her. Tikki grumbled a bit in her sleep. Marinette bit her lip to keep from crying out again; her kwami, like her parents, had exhausted herself worrying over her, so Marinette didn't want to wake her. She closed her eyes trying to block out the pain. She was Ladybug, for goodness sakes, she shouldn't be crying over a little bit of pain. She swallowed hard and tried to not let the burning tears behind her eyes spill. After a few minutes of trying to get a hold of herself, she finally let go. Marinette sobbed, hard.
She didn't care if her ribs seared with pain, she didn't care that if anyone found her they would worry, she didn't care if Tikki woke up, she didn't care. It hurt, her body hurt, she was broken and she was done with being strong. Yes, she was Ladybug and yes, she had gotten badly hurt before but it still hurt. Sometimes she wondered just how much her body could take. It wasn't like she didn't love being Ladybug; while she was Ladybug she was strong and confident and everything she wasn't as Marinette, but she was still human. When she was Ladybug it was easy to ignore the pain due to the adrenaline, it was always when she was Marinette that she ever really felt any pain. Of course, that was normal; she always felt the pain when she wasn't in the suit. Between her sobbing and the pain grating on her body, she didn't even hear the trapdoor above her bed open.

"Mari?" A shocked and worried voice came from above her. She opened her eyes, which had been closed tightly against the pain and through her tears she was able to make out Chat. She turned her head to see if Tikki was still sleeping beside her head, but apparently her Kwami had heard the door and had hid herself.

She didn't want Chat to see her like this; its true he didn't know she was Ladybug, but she still didn't want her partner to see her like this. She kept her head turned and bit her bottom lip, her body shaking as she tried to conceal her sobs. She didn't want him to see her in this state, not when she was this weak. But she couldn't stop the tears now that they had come. Everything had just seemed like too much. Marinette knew that this had been coming for a long time, she had hid everything with a fake smile for too long. This was bad. She didn't know how long this outburst would last and she couldn't stop and.... she was beginning not to care.

She startled a bit when she felt a hand stroking her hair. She finally turned her head back to Chat but couldn't meet his eyes, instead focusing on his ridiculously poufy hair. She felt his eyes on her, begging her to look at him but she wouldn't. She shifted her focus again to stare past his head at her ceiling but she felt his piercing gaze still on her. She felt felt his hand coming up to her face, and hesitating before very gently wiping her tears away. Terribly gently. Finally she gathered up courage to look at his face. His face was neutral and when she looked up into his eyes, she only saw understanding. And suddenly she was so thankful for him; thankful that he didn't have pity or worry in his eyes, thankful that he wasn't asking questions, thankful that he was just offering her silent comfort, just thankful that he was here.

She brought her hands up to her face, trying to hide her shame even if he had already seen it all. Lightly, he pried her hands away from her face. She half-heartedly tried to resist but gave up, partly because the struggling caused pain and partly because she just didn't care anymore.  She felt Chat, hold her hands, softly running his thumbs over them. He slowly bent down and lightly kissed the top of her uninjured cheek. This only made her sob harder. He laid down next to her, obviously trying to not rock the bed too much. As soon as he was down, he gently pulled her into him and gently cuddled her. Goddammit, why was it that he was always so gentle when it came to times like this? Marinette thought. Very briefly, another gentle blonde-haired boy flashed through her mind. But she pushed that away, that caused pain too.