milkman ≫ muke

huit

luke avoided michael.

he told himself he wasn't gay. he repeated those words to himself every day. when he woke up, when he went to bed, and in between. michael doesn't like you like that, luke told himself. he cried for hours on end. did he know himself like he thought he did?

he started to believe what he told himself.

he had come to a conclusion. he hated michael. he hates his guts. he had even stopped delivering cranberry juice to michael's door. michael made luke question himself.

control. control. control.

luke loved being in control, but he was starting to lose control of himself. he refused to lose control of himself. not after what happened in high school. not after losing control of his life to bullies. not after going home day after day with bruises on his skin. and yes, those guys were tough, but luke was not going to lose himself over some wimpy kid next door.

•••

luke had been avoiding michael for a month.

it was late at night and he couldn't sleep. too many things were going on in his mind. "what should my next chapter be on?" "ms. regina isn't going to be home tomorrow, so i'll be one carton short."

the most important thought, though, was the one he didn't have.

he didn't think about his neighbor. not once. he was in control again. he was straight, successful, and happy. that's what his parents would want, isn't it?

but nothing lasts forever.

there was a knock on luke's door. he turned his head to look at the clock. who the fuck would knock on my door at 3 am? luke started feeling scared. isn't this the type of shit that happens in scary movies?

he grabbed a knife from the kitchen and cautiously made his way to the door. he could hear sniffling from the other side of the door. sniffling he knew all too well.

michael.

he dropped the knife and forcefully opened the door. whatever this was about, luke was having none of it. the door opened to reveal a crying, blue-haired michael.

"look here you fuckin-"

his mascara was running again, this time a little blacker, and luke thought he was mesmerizing.

he couldn't do it anymore.

"fuck," luke whispered under his breath.

luke leaned in, wiped michael's tears, and kissed him gently, as if he were made out of paper and any minute he would crumble. michael whimpered under him and luke could feel his heart breaking. please let this not be my fault, luke thought.

michael spoke to luke for the first time in a month. "why," he breathed, "luke why did you avoid me? did i do something wrong?" suddenly, his eyes went a deeper shade of jade and there was an emotion in them that luke couldn't put his finger on.

and then he started lashing out.

"fuck you luke! i fucking hate you, you know?! all you do is make me fucking question myself!" luke turned his head to avoid michael once again before he started yelling again, "for god's sake luke! look at this, look at me! you made me this way!"

michael calmed down a bit before continuing, "i'm not supposed to be like this. when you kissed me i-what was i supposed to feel? god, you made butterflies swarm my stomach. did you feel it, too?" michael sighed, "luke, please talk to me. i'm sorry for yelling. i'm sorry."

luke shut his eyes. what did he feel? he felt those butterflies, too, but was he ready for a relationship? his mind was spinning.

"i-i'm sorry. i know i should say something else, something deeper, but i can't think of what to say. i'm sorry i avoided you, but you made me feel things that i've never felt before. i had to sort out my feelings before i could talk to you." luke sighed before continuing, "you're beautiful, michael. you're amazing. i'm sorry."

michael had started crying again, so luke wiped his tears and kissed his cheekbones. "don't cry baby, your mascara'll run."

michael laughed at that and luke's heart did flips at the sound. michael's head was buried in luke's chest and they would have stayed like that all night if it wasn't 4 am. both boys were exhausted, so luke suggested he and michael sleep together.

that night, they slept the best the pair had ever slept in the past 3 months.

wAHH im sorry for not updating in so long!! we had like 2 days break and i was prewriting the chapter bc i was like "oh god i dont want them to wait so long" and i just got to writing it! also i have 900+ rEADS THATS INCREDIBLE THANK YOU GUYS FOR THAT AND THE 100+ VOTES I LOVE U ALL SM ♡♡