Secret Memories (Naruto Fanfic)

Fool of a Man

 "I'm an idiot." A nasty, dry feeling settled onto the roof of the Lord Kazekage's mouth as he walked away from Lady Chiyo's place. Rasa's arms crossed in a tense manner, his jaw set tightly as he fought back his frustration. "I am, absolutely, an idiot." Out of the corner of his eye the auburn haired man noticed someone looking at him, and his head turned to see two of Suna's villagers staring at him, almost as if he'd grown a second head. "What?"

"Are you alright, Lord Kazekage?"

Rasa's dark brown eyes blinked a couple of times before shaking off the fact he, the Lord Kazekage, was found acting in such a non-Kazekage manner. "I'm fine."

The auburn haired man's eyes drifted over to the hospital, and his shoulders relaxed thinking about the small child waiting in one of the rooms. His steps became quick, and his arms loosened slightly despite the fact they remained crossed. Rasa slipped into the hospital, the smell making him feel nauseated, but the quiet feeling washed over him. Stepping into the room where the small babe lay brought even more relief to the Kazekage, and Rasa stepped over so he could peer down into the crib. He paid no mind to the sand crunching under his sandal clad feet.

Rasa leaned against the bars, his brown eyes taking in the small, fragile infant lying on the mat, wondering if Gaara even noticed he was there. The infant's sea foam green eyes seemed to drift around the room, looking at things which weren't there, but then the eyes somehow managed to make eye contact with Rasa's, and the man spoke up. "Gaara."

The infant stopped moving, and soft baby sounds escaped his lips.

In turn a sigh escaped Rasa's as the auburn haired man leaned closer. "You're so fragile, aren't you? That's rather my fault, isn't it? I'm the Lord Kazekage, whose able to protect all of Suna, but when it comes to something small like you, what am I able to do?" Another soft sound came from the babe's mouth. "Ah, yes, I messed up, made it so you don't have your mother taking care of you."

Two chubby arms attempted to reach up, only to flow down due to the lack of physical strength in the small body. Rasa felt his throat tighten, the knowledge that the infant wanted up breaking his arm. The man reached down to brush two calloused fingers across the child's cheek. "I can't. I am so afraid I'd drop you. Imagine that, the Lord Kazekage afraid of something. Guess what else I'm afraid of Gaara? I'm also afraid of approaching your mother, confessing to her again."

Small, soft baby fingers reached up to touch the calloused fingers, and then latched on. Rasa felt his eyelids droop, a good feeling washing over him, and his eyes looked down into Gaara's sea foam green eyes. The infant tugged at the auburn haired man's fingers, tugging the digits towards his mouth, and the Kazekage felt the corners of his mouth twist up. The babe opened his mouth, presumably to let out a yawn, only to slip Rasa's fingers into his mouth.

A sickening feeling hit the pit of the auburn haired man's stomach as slobber began to cover the two fingers, and out of Gaara's mouth. Rasa felt his chest and throat tighten, the urge to call out rushing to his head with a burning sensation to the ears and cheeks, as a sudden feeling of anxiety ruptured over the man's entire psyche. Two brown eyes blinked a couple of times, and the Lord Kazekage's mouth opened and closed at a rapid pace a few times.

"Gross, gross, what the hell is this? Remove my finger..." A shudder ran down Rasa's spine. "No, I might hurt Gaara. What the hell am I supposed to do! Where is Yashamaru when you need him!" The auburn haired man took a deep breath, but found himself unable to move from the spot, but instead stared down into the sea foam green eyes. Gaara's eyes didn't remain focus, but instead drifted off to look again at things which weren't there, Rasa's fingers still in the infants mouth.

"Lord Ka-za-ka-ge?"

The singsong voice of his brother-in-law snapped Rasa's attention away, the corner of his mouth twitching. "Yashamaru..."

"Seriously, the look on your face when Lady Chiyo called you a fool, that was hysterical." The young man stepped forward, his thin body leaning over the edge of the crib, while his hands tucked behind his back. "Lord Gaara? Do the Lord Kazekage's fingers taste good?"

A gurgling sound escaped the babe's mouth, but the fingers remained, slobber dripping. Rasa's eyes narrowed, his lips twisting down. "Yashamaru, would you please help me here?"

Yashamaru's indigo eyes blinked a couple of times, his sandy haired head tilting to the side to look at his brother-in-law. "Rasa-nii, is it by chance that you've never had a baby stick your fingers into their mouth? You have three children, so how is that even possible?"

"This is normal?" Rasa felt his throat tighten, the sickening feeling increasing as he stared at the younger Shinobi.

"Here, here." The sandy haired man gently lifted up Gaara carefully, but didn't remove the auburn haired man's fingers from the infant's mouth. "When holding a baby, you need to support their head until they're strong enough to do this on their own."

With a gentle push Yashamaru set the baby in a position where Rasa could hold his young son, but the young Kazekage's entire body tensed up. "When... hold on a second!"

"Either you take Gaara now, or when I let go of him he's going to drop to the ground."

The tone of voice used by the sandy haired man sent a shudder down Rasa's spine, making him wonder how the medical ninja in front of him could be so cruel. A quick glance up into Yashamaru's eyes revealed a coldness, and instinctively his arms wrapped around the small, frail infant protectively. "Are you serious? You would drop a baby?"

A smile quickly spread across Yashamaru's face, that look Karura got when she's managed to do something tricky. "Now was that so hard Lord Kazekage?"

Rasa's eyes blinked a couple of times, and he suddenly felt a heaviness to his eyelids as his brother-in-law's actions caused a tired feeling to wash over him. "Yashamaru..." The auburn haired man's eyes drifted down to look at the child in his arm, and a heavy feeling hit him in the throat and in the gut. "Wait! I might drop him!"

"Don't worry. You didn't notice the sand on the floor? It would catch him before he fell to far."

"You... what..." Rasa's eyes drifted down, sweat breaking out along his back, and his teeth grinding together as he looked at the child. A tug from Yashamaru brought him over to a small table in the room, and the man felt his fingers tugged out of the infants mouth, causing Gaara to let out a sound of disappointment. Two brown eyes took in the sea foam green eyes crinkling up in frustration, and Rasa felt a strange feeling wash over him.

A cloth wiping off his fingers made his head dart up, his eyes blinking at the sight of his brother in law wiping off his fingers. A look of displeasure wrapped Yashamaru's lips into a frown, and the young man remained concentrated. "Seriously, what am I going to do with you. You're useless without my sister. Hold on a second."

The auburn haired man's two eyes blinked a couple of times, watching as Yashamaru headed out of the room, and then they drifted back down to the infant in his arms, his chest tightening at the thought of something so small, and fragile resting in hands that caused so much destruction. Rasa felt something warm against his cheek, and turned his head to the side to see Yashamaru holding out a bottle for him to take. "What..."

"Don't you dare say that you being Lord Kazekage makes you to good for such menial tasks."

Rasa noticed then the shadows under Yashamaru's eyes. "No. I'm likely to mess up. You're good at this, aren't you?"

"Nobody else wants to do it. Babies eat often." The sandy haired man's head shook. "I left him long enough this morning, to see how Karura nee-chan was doing." Two indigo eyes looked Rasa in the eye. "Please, for Karura? It's a shame she's not experiencing this. It's a shame you are missing this."

The auburn haired man took the bottle, and under Yashamaru's guidance found himself feeding the tiny child in his arms, and yet the feeling, the lack of confidence, simply didn't go away.