Secret Memories (Naruto Fanfic)

Passing of Time

Watching the pained expression on his children's faces made him second guess not telling Karura the truth, as did a lecture from Lady Chiyo. Yet, upon finding himself at the place he found himself tongue-tied regarding what to say. In Karura's mind he was a stranger, yet not someone she seemed attracted to. "Why'd she even agree to marry me? No, better yet, why did she allow me courting privileges? I am such a mess."

He stood by the pound outside of Lady Chiyo's home, stewing over what to do. Karura finally came out, and for a few moments he felt his spirits lift up. However, she gave him that glare only Karura could do. Mentally, he corrected himself, reminding himself that Lady Tsunade also could give him such glares. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but she quickly told him off.

Specifically, she poked him in the shoulder in a painful manner. "Don't! I told you not to say anything or do anything, yet you did! Why? Why did you have to tell him when I asked you not to? He honestly wasn't bothering me, but you most certainly are! It's like you and my secret admirer are two different people."

"I'm sorry." Rasa took a deep breath. "What if someone were to simply tell you who you are?"

Karura continued to frown on him, placing her hands onto her hips. "My doctors said it is best if I remember on my own." She poked him in the shoulder, making him flinch again. "And what business is that of yours? I asked my secret admirer if they'd tell you off. He didn't tell you that I was displeased with you?"

"That... I, um..." He looked away, feeling dumbstruck at said comment.

"He did, yet you still came here? Are you some kind of stalker?"

"Sorry. I didn't mean..." He stopped speaking, feeling as if he were simply digging himself deeper.

"Stay here."

Rasa paused, glancing up as she headed back into Lady Chiyo's home. Karura seemed determined about something, only for her to shove a piece of paper into his arms, her irritation quite evident. "Never mind! I'm not going to ask you to take this to him because it's so obvious that you're out to sabotage what he's doing! Don't you understand I was looking forward to another letter, but he's so worried about upsetting me he hasn't sent one? The two of you are such fools."

Rasa uncrumpled the paper and read, "To my secret admirer, I am truly upset with you. I hear nothing from you, yet I hear from this friend of yours? I want to hear from you, not him. How can I reciprocate your feelings, if you don't respond and I can't decide? If he..."

The letter cut off at that point, yet Rasa still felt his ear yanked painfully. "What are you doing?"

"I..."

"Are you telling me you'd actually have read my private letter to my secret admirer? You jerk! Get out of my sight." She quickly shoved the man's shoulders yet gave him a swift kick in the rear. "Get!"

Rasa closed his eyes, deciding today it would be better to leave. He found himself sitting at his desk, listening to someone drone on about funeral plans for his wife who wasn't dead when Yashimaru came in. His brother-in-law shooed the person away. "So? Please tell me you did it? That you told her?"

"She hates me."

"Rasa, my sister loves you."

"She loves the person in the letter."

"Which is you."

"She thinks we're two different people Yashimaru, and already I can't live up to that." Rasa pushed the letter forward, unsure of how to go forward."

"At least, respond to. Please, nii-sama?"

"I..." Rasa leaned into his arms. He went to Lady Chiyo's a few times, only to receive a glare, yet Yashimaru's pestering got the better of him as did his children crying themselves to sleep at night. However, it was still some time until he wrote the next letter.

"I'm sorry for not responding sooner. I am such a fool. I wanted my response to you to be perfect, yet it feels like I'm struggling now just as much with putting words on paper as I am face to face. Honestly, I don't care if you ever reciprocate my feelings. I am a fool who doesn't deserve as much. Yet, it would make my world if I could simply communicate with you through letters."

She actually wrote a response. "I'd love to communicate with you. How about we promise to switch months? This way we'll know the other is still alive? I may not remember much, but something tells me with how I became ill that we shouldn't take life's moments for granted. Since I don't know your name, and you know mine, I'll leave them unsigned. I'll leave it to my brother to deliver them."

"Agreed. I can communicate with you every other month, but I look forward to your letters. I don't know what to write. I guess I could say Yashimaru isn't happy with this."

"He's my brother, so of course he's going to be worried about me communicating with a strange man I don't know. However, I don't know many things. I am stuck here day after day doing nothing, yet I get this feeling if I go outside everything will come crashing down because someone will tell me, and I'll never get those precious memories back. By the way, that auburn-haired man keeps hanging around. He doesn't say much. Are you him? You said you struggled to speak to me via word of mouth."

"Would you be happy I am him, or would you be happy if I were someone else? I personally wouldn't want to be him."

"Why would you not want to be that auburn-haired man? Is there a specific reason."

"No reason I guess. I guess I'm dissatisfied with who he is, yet I can imagine he doesn't want to be who he is any more than I want to be me. How are you doing, given that it has been a year since you lost your memories, so I guess asking you how you're doing isn't out of the question?"

Rasa found himself leaning back as he finished writing the letter. A year had passed, yet Karura still hadn't gotten her memories back.