namjin family (bts)

9 (edited)

Everything. 

Not only was I not used to flying, I was also not used to travelling across the globe to relocate my entire family and reunite them with my first child and her boyfriend. There was a lot of new in the day. 

As a professional narrator of my own life, I tend not to spend time addressing the reader, however I ask you to imagine what it would be like in my shoes. An 10 hour flight, followed by a 7 hour flight. A pain for any person, tired and cramped. But add 5 young children to this. Even more tired than you are, nervous about being 30,000ft in the air. Constantly hungry, one child after the other. Reliant on, not your husband, who is asleep, but on you. Then, the fear that you've lost something; boarding pass, passport, child. The fear that the country you are moving to will be nothing but stress and pain for the at least 13 years you will have to live there. And then, your dearest daughter and her boyfriend. Who seem to not care one bit about the stress that the children are causing, nor the way that they set off this entire plan in the first place. Can you imagine that for me? 

Perhaps I overreact. However, the day was stressful. Once arriving in London, we settled into a hotel and slept off the jetlag. 

"Dad! Dad- wake up- it's an emergency," was the scariest sentence of my life. 

I was in a new place, nobody here who could comfort me if the worst was to happen.

Hoseok shook me awake, saying it again and again before I became fully conscious. Terror immediately filled my mind- Namjoon? No, he was right next to me, slowly waking up to Hoseok's shouts. Had one of the boys been taken? What about Jie? Was there someone here for us-

"Jungkook wants breakfast and I don't know what he's allowed to have."

Both of us look at our dearest child, in shock at how he could consider that an emergency. Too tired and dumbstruck, I muttered an 'okay' to him, dragging myself up out of bed. 

Shifting himself across the bed and grabbing onto my hips, Namjoon whispered to me. 

"Are you okay, darling?"

"Stressed, Joonie."

He brought my hands up to his face and kissed them all over, taking care every time his lips touched me. I smiled. 

"I love you." I pulled him up and wrapped my arms around his body.

Despite being virtually the same height, this was more comforting. To have him hold my head into him, his smell lingering as I began to pull away.

"I love you too." He replied, slowly letting me go and sort out breakfast.

After serving the boys breakfast (I didn't risk taking them all down to the restaurant), we set off. The train to the house was about 3 hours, leaving enough time for each child to get bored.

 My mind wandered, thinking about what it would be like if this was the situation when I was a child. 

My mother, fussing over every detail of me- my hair, my face, my clothes. My father, who would tell me to 'man up', or 'stop being such a queer'. How would I feel? I know I'm a different parent to them, I do. But do they feel the same pressure from me? Silenced by my authority, or desperate to be perfect.

Am I like them?