I was a Mistake

Punishment

Noah told Mrs. Winters which way to go based on my pointing and tapping. Mrs. Winters talked soothingly, saying everything would be alright and I didn't need to be scared. She kept checking in the rearview mirror that I was alright. I knew she could see me shaking and breathing heavily in the back seat. I was grateful for her even though she couldn't know what was waiting for me at home.

I jumped out of the black suburban when we arrived after waving at Noah and Mrs. Winters. I ran full speed to the door. I was embarrassed for them to see the house I lived in after seeing their beautiful house. I heard them drive off.

When I ran inside, I smacked into Gabriella. Her large body made me bounce, falling hard on the ground. Beside her was Gabriel and they wore matching evil smiles, telling me I was in big trouble. I didn't have time to wonder why they were home before my sister spoke, "I heard some really good news from a kid named Isaiah Winters." I felt my heart stop and then start again at a faster rate than before.

"He said his little brother was our little sister's best friend!" Whether it was to deny it or to beg them not to tell Momma, I shook my head urgently.

"Now, Eden, why would he tell us if not to brag that our little sister has more friends than we do when Mommy told you not to have any. Not to mention you came in later than you were supposed to and will be late to feed us! Our poor momma is going to be so disappointed." She shook her head as if to say it was a shame.

I ran into the kitchen and got the makings for spaghetti and corn. The twins followed me and sat down, making me nervous. I pushed my stool around the kitchen trying to reach the stove and countertops, still a little short to reach them properly. I cooked as fast as I could, making sure I got it just right so Momma wouldn't be so disappointed in me. The twins laughed when I burned my finger twice.

"Twins, I'm home," Momma came in before I got the chance to finish dinner. She gathered the twins in her arms and looked over at me.

"Someone looks frazzled. Why isn't dinner ready, sweetheart?" I was really scared. Her eyes were bloodshot and her voice sounded slurred. I knew Momma had gotten some of her favorite drink. "What, you can't answer me? That's very disrespectful, Eden!"

"Momma, Eden didn't come home until forty-five minutes ago! And my friend at school said his little brother knew her! And then she jumped out of a black truck. I think you should talk to her about it." Gabriel's face looked convincingly concerned. Momma's eyes blazed at me enough to make me uncontrollably shake.

"Eden, you know to make food before I come home, clean the house, bathe and then wash the dishes. You didn't finish any of that! What am I going to do to you." Momma was eerily calm. She walked slowly towards me. "Turn off the heat, now." I did what I was told quickly.

Almost instantly, she grabbed me by the back of my favorite dress, ripping it, and dragged me into the basement, making sure I hit my head hard on the doorway. "I don't ask for much from you, but all you do is make mistakes! What did I tell you about friends? Are you already selling yourself to people? Huh, Eden? Do I need to just keep you home all day so you can do what I say? Or am I not punishing you enough? Trust me, little bitch, I can do a lot worse."

Momma was really mad and her hands were shaking. She took off her belt and told me, "Take off your clothes. Now, Eden!"

I hurriedly took off my clothes, getting stuck with my buttons. My entire body shook like a leaf on a tree. Momma began hitting me like her life depended on it. She didn't stop until my body was numb and I could no longer stay awake.

When I woke up, Momma was sitting on my bed waiting on me. Her body shook as if she wanted to cry. "Eden, please go do your chores and then go to bed. I'll decide if you go to school in the morning."

I tried to get up, but my entire body protested. I groaned, the noise sounding scratchy and used all my energy to pick myself up off the ground. Momma walked out ahead of me and I put on my clothes as quickly as I could.

In the kitchen, my meal had been turned off and I wasn't sure how to fix it. I turned the water back on and tried to cook the noodles again. They got rubbery and I had to quickly make another meal. I didn't know where Momma or the twins were but I wasn't going to look for them. My body was better off staying as far away from them as I could be.

I was in more pain than I remember ever having. My head felt as if my brain was throbbing, trying to escape from my ears. The skin I could see was covered in purple and blue bumps that ached to the touch. My belly looked like one big bruise and it hurt to stand up straight. I didn't know about my back, but it hurt worse than anything else, making me fear what it looked like.

Once I finished my second spaghetti dinner, I set it out on the table, doing my best to make it look neat. I went to the sink and began to wash all of the dishes I had used so far. As I was finishing up the last pan, my family walked in with huge smiles and a takeout box. My heart sunk when I realized they had already eaten.

Momma would be angry I wasted her food she worked hard for. I quickly took the plates off the table and boxed up the food and stuck it in the fridge after sneaking my share. I cleaned the dishes and took out a washcloth, cleaning the counters and the stovetop. I snuck past my family sitting in the living room and went into the bathroom. I scrubbed the toilet and sprayed cleaner on the counter to clean it and the sink. I went to the bathtub and organized the shampoo and body wash so it'd look nice. I piled the towels and clothes in the corner of the room.

I cleaned the twins rooms and took my duster I retrieved under the bathroom sink. I dusted what I could reach and cleaned up what was on the floor and dressers. I left their room with a made bed and clean windows. Momma's room was already clean because she didn't sleep in it. She liked to sleep on the couch because her old room made her sad. She didn't know it, but I could hear her crying from the basement.

I left my old bedroom closed because I knew there was nobody using it. I picked up all of the clothes I'd found throughout the house, struggling to carry my sibling's much bigger clothes and wet towels. I took it to the laundry room and began a load of clothes.

In the living room, Momma and the twins were watching my old favorite movie, as if to taunt me. I did my best to clean the living room out of their way. I crawled around on the floor picking up my brother's shoes, my sister's backpack, and my Momma's spilled amber drink. I cleaned the coffee table of soda cans and crumbs, doing my best to keep out of their way.

"Damnit, Eden, can't you do this some other time? Move your black and blue ass out of my way!" It was the first time my brother had ever cussed at me, but it wasn't the first time he made fun of my bruises. I didn't think he was very clever. His eyebrows curved downwards in a frown. He had some kind of dried food on the side of his mouth and his belly hung obnoxiously out of his Aeropostale t-shirt. I nodded quickly and rushed out of the living room and back into the bathroom.

I bathed quickly and made sure to clean all of my dirt, even though my body protested at every movement. I whimpered as my body radiated pain, a feeling I hated because I had no way to control it unless I snuck some of Momma's pain medication. When I stepped out of the bathtub I had no choice but to look at the damage done to my poor body. It seemed I was wearing a tie-dye bodysuit. Blue bruises competed with purple and what was already a mustard yellow and green. At least my face hadn't been hit, a good sign I might be able to go to school the next day.

I wrapped a towel around me and snuck into my basement. I put on a nightgown and crawled into bed. My body was still very tiny. I was seven years old and the small training bed had yet to become too big for me, something I was grateful for. I fell asleep after doubling up on my pile of shirts to lay on and cover up with. I started my nightly routine of imagining Daddy, Gram, and Mommy kissing me goodnight.

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