Confessions

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FIFTY NINE
Upsetting

I've been having a secret relationship for two weeks that nobody knows about. But today, as were having lunch, I'm going to confess. Come clean to my closest friends.

I tug on my boyfriend's and hand stand up together like we had planned. "Ready?" I ask and he nods. "So guys. It's been a while since we've all been friends and some of you may of caught on or maybe not. But I just want to say..." I raise my boyfriends hand with mine. "Cameron and I are dating."

(Oh didn't see that coming did you as wholes! And congrats if you knew that was a Shawn tweet - as wholes - that I just indirected haha)

"I hope you guys accept our decision. Shawn was already out gay but I never was and here I am. Feels good to tell you guys that I'm different and I really like Shawn." Cameron tells.

I look at the guys and they're all so happy, clapping for us and really truly accepting the two of us. But I look at Taylor, my favorite guy amongst all of them. He looks the complete opposite of what I wanted to expect.

I look at him while he drinks his soda, his eyes reach mine and he gives me the most unwelcoming flare. "Taylor?" I say with a soft tone. "What?" He sneers. I let go of Cameron's hand and walk over to Taylor's side of the circular bench. I touch his shoulder but he swats it away and stands up. "Fuck off."

Taylor starts to walk away with sass and it grows a hole in my heart. "Guys. What did I do?" I say softly. I begin to chase after him but Cameron runs in front of me. "We just came clean. More than half of us accept us. He doesn't care. So what? Drop him."

I push Cameron's hand away and scoff, "He's my best friend. I am not just going to drop him. I'd rather fix this with him than have him forgotten."

I stand still watching Taylor walk away, when I turn around, Matthew goes over to me. "Hey, you know he likes you. A lot." My mouth drops as I have my hand to cup it. "Oh... I have to go get him. I need to."

"Shawn. If you leave, we're done. I told you don't chase after him. He's just jealous and will get over it!" Cameron's anger becomes visible and I don't like it.

I walk away without another word.

"Tay? Taylor... Taylor?" I call out in hopes of finding him. I see a glimpse of red, it's his bandana. He sits crouching on the floor with his back against the stone that wraps around the roses. I go over to him and sit on the stone.

"What are you doing here?" Taylor asks me. I put my hand on his head and slouch down aside him. "I left him." I say softly.

Taylor's head faces mine. "Are you serious? Look, no. You aren't breaking things off with him just because I'm the only one who doesn't like it. It's okay."

"I really like Cameron. But I've always liked you more. He said, if I leave to chase after you, we're done. And guess what. Here I am, with you." I tell him, reaching for his hand, in which he does let me grab.

"Then you'll kiss me if you meant those words and will be with me right now. Officially." Taylor says with a serious tone. It makes me sure that he really does like me because of his determination. "I will." I cup his face and bring my lips close to his. For a second, I stare at them. Am I really going to?

Before I can process it, I allow myself to do so. It's something rather sweet and calm, not over done, and rather more than nothing. "Wow, Shawn. Didn't think you would." Taylor says delicately. "I said I like you didn't I?"

Taylor kisses my hand and helps me get up as we walk the path back to our friends.

They see our hands intertwined and smile. "It's going to have to be Taylor." I say. "And where's Cam?" I look around and see that he's no longer there. "He wants nothing to do with you because you left."

"He's always wanted me happy, and I guess that's with Taylor." I say to him and he brings his face close to mine. "We've been friends for a while and that was the best confession I have ever heard from you."

February 29, 2016

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