Chaos King. A Disaster Clad in Overalls

Chapter 14- Fail Safes and Jerk Juice

no quote today because I'm posting this in the five minutes before I go into my lecture. I'll put one up here as soon as I can find one. If you have a good sugesstion about separation or heartbreak comment it!

                                                                                                 *********

Once upon a time there was a place where the temperature was regulated. It never changed, staying at a constant twenty-five degrees for as long as anyone can remember.

Oh how I miss the cool confines of that small room in Firefox 12. Ah who am I kidding, that place has none of the excitement that the Chill Zone has. With temperatures so high your own blood boils and plastic red walls and floors that let the sweat bead up and pool into a small puddle, the Chill Zone is defiantly the place to be.

It sounds awesome and it is for the first two minutes or so and then the next sixty-seven hours after that are complete and utter sweaty hell.

Red. Red. Red.

Sweat. Sweat. Sweat.

The only thing chilly about the Chill Zone is the red peppers they flavour my porridge with. Terrible choice of garnish, my compliments did not make their way to the chef.

I am allowed to leave any time I want. On one condition. There is always a condition, I've noticed that Vally loves her conditions. Personally I think they are extremely overrated. She wants me to apologise, especially to Horace, and then they want me to attend some type of class to help me control my anger.

I know it's the right thing to do. That I should do it. But I can't, at least not yet. I needed some time alone, some time to think about everything that has happened and what will happen. It overwhelms me some times, scares me all the time.

I survived in a pod, was shipped to another man made planet and given powers. I'm a Bizarreo and a member of a University. My professors are ghosts trapped in the body of dwarves, my retriever is a Saint Bernard and I have an angel for a roommate. I don't have parents anymore; they were killed by a virus on Earth. My sister has bone cancer and needs a special chair because she is too weak to walk, a side-effect of the treatment. My brother isn't just the lovable idiot I thought he was, he has Autism, Vally told me. Something I'd never even heard of before.

It's all too crazy. Too weird. Big Words. Big Problems. And they expect me to have small reactions. Not likely.

Sometimes I feel so alone but I am never truly alone, not until I came here that is. Vally told me that nobody here is ever truly alone. I think that the Big Guns don't want us to be alone, so that way we are easier to keep tabs on. Saffy has become closer to me than anyone. Like a pair of limbs that belong to me only they aren't attached to my body. Everywhere I look she is there. I know the sound of her breathing, the sound of her footsteps, her smell. We are so close and yet there are times when I can't stand to be around even her because she is the grumpiest grump in the entire universe and getting her to smile is like trying to swim back to Earth.

Probably the most disturbing realisation of my time in the Chill Zone was this morning. More disturbing than having my chest cut open in front of my face to be honest. Disturbing like I said.

I was laying spread out like a starfish in the ever growing puddle of sweat with my eyes closed pretending it was a swimming pool. I've never been swimming, I don't even know how to swim and I've never been in a bath let alone a pool but that never stopped me from dreaming about it. I was humming twinkle twinkle little star over and over until I had the tune all mixed up.

At first I barely noticed it, the tiny little tweaks in my heart. It started right about four hours after I was thrown in here. Slowly over time it got worse, little tweaks of the heart strings became sharp tugs, then pulls. I thought it was my Compassionation, that someone was in trouble and I was resisting helping them.