Hero's Call

Chapter Three

From the diary of Czar Destructo,

Evil Genius. Villain Extraordinaire.

Final Entry.

That son-of-a-bitch Captain Amazing is the whole reason I'm in here. As a Villain, you're not technically required to have a nemesis. It's actually a bit more prudent not to have one. They're kind of annoying. Things happen though. When you try to take over the world several times, the same Hero seems to come back again and again. Always appearing at the last second, tall, fair, and handsome, to ruin the work you've spent months perfecting.

They just don't understand how long it actually takes to breed a mutant army, or build a Death Ray, or even take control of everyone's mind in the country. Things like that take planning and work. They require large sums of ill-begotten money. You have to hire henchmen. Ugh, don't get me started on henchmen. Ever since they unionized they've been nothing but a hassle.

I am not the original Czar Destructo. To be perfectly honest, I don't even know who was. The name has been around for ages and ages. I'm merely a clone, of a clone, of a clone, and so on. And when I get out of here, I'll make a clone of myself. I still have years of Villainy ahead of me, I think, but I need time to train my protégé.

I'm old, though I may not look it. Time seems to have a funny effect here. I was brought to life sometime around the 1900's, but, to look at me, you'd only guess I was in my late forties. I know the Hero Gene gives you an unnatural long life, but this is something different. I don't know if it has something to do with the cloning process, or if this prison has effects they didn't realize when they built it, but I care not. I feel as young and lively as the day I was cloned.

I will have to admit, though, that this prison is something of a marvel. It's nestled miles under the frigid water and ice of Antarctica. I don't know who designed it, probably Brainiac or The Constructor, but my hat's off to them. It's an impossible labyrinth of icy tunnels and pools of water that would give you frostbite just to dip your toe in. They leave me free to roam in my cell, which is nothing more than a large icy dome with a single bed and a television that I could guess is one of the first televisions ever made.

I've been in here for forty long years. I was caught in 1959 by Captain Amazing, as I said. I had constructed a massive army of seemingly indestructible robots. I marched on Washington, and took over the entire United States government in one fell swoop. Captain Amazing was out of the country at the time. The news reached his ears in no time, but, even for a Hero, it takes a few hours to fly across the ocean. For just a few short hours I knew what it was to have the country under my command. Just as I was broadcasting my victory speech across the nation, that bastard Captain Amazing dropped down on the steps of the White House. My robot army that I thought couldn't be stopped was turned to tin foil in less than ten minutes.

He marched into the Oval Office and found me sitting with my feet propped on the desk. He went through the same old garbage.

"This ends now, Destructo," he said in a commanding voice.

"Oh give it a rest, Amazing," I replied with annoyance. "I've heard it all before. You know I'm not going to just give up and let you take me away."

"If it's a fight you want," he said with a smile, "it's a fight you'll get."

Now, anyone with the Hero Gene is much stronger than normal men, and that includes me. But, even so, I'm no match for Captain Amazing. His blows landed like sledgehammers. I don't even know if the few hits I got in on him were even felt. He certainly didn't seem to notice them. With a final punch to the chest he sent me flying through the wall of the Oval Office and onto the lawn of the White House. I wasn't unconscious, and I probably could have gotten up and fought, but I didn't see the point.