Hero's Call

Chapter Five

Czar Destructo had broken out of prison numerous times. Almost too many times to count, but he guessed the number was somewhere in the high teens. This last break out was probably his most favorite of all, simply because the cell they had him in was state of the art. No Villain on earth was supposed to be able to break free of that arctic hellhole. Maybe The Dreadnaught if he were still around, but no one else. Czar Destructo guessed they forgot how smart he actually was. He'd just add that to the legend that was Czar Destructo.

There's always one big problem, though, when Czar Destructo broke out of prison and that problem was rebuilding his empire. Most of the time he was in prison for a year tops, and by the time he was out, the authorities hadn't had time to track down all the last vestiges of his then current reign of power. He always had a small robot army or half finished death ray stashed away somewhere for a rainy day, which was probably acid rain that he had created himself.

Destructo had hundreds of bank accounts in different names in different banks all over the country. Building a Death Cruiser or Doomship costs money. Most people thought that he could just conjure up the necessary means to terrorize the world with the flick of his wrist, but he could do no such thing, nor could anyone else he knew of. Being an evil genius was easy if you're genius enough, but it can also be rather expensive if you're genius enough. The money he had poured into building his airship was enough to feed the starving children of the world until they were well into old age and then feed their children as well.

Yes, building an evil empire was just like building any other kind of empire. You just need capital. Villains like Czar Destructo could got money in any number of ways. Some held cities or dignitaries for ransom. Others pilfered the world's supply of gold and sold it back at twice the cost. Destructo? He preferred bank robberies. Somewhat clichéd, he knew, but he felt it had a classic style. A joie de vie that most other Villains failed to possess or appreciate.

Czar Destructo had been gone for forty years this time. God knew what had happened while he was gone. Destructo was sure that bastard Captain Amazing had rooted out every last one of his secret hideouts, and returned all the stolen money to its rightful owners.

Miserable good two-shoes, Destructo said to himself at the thought.

The Villain ditched the helicopter in a clear patch of woods somewhere in the Appalachian Mountains. If his calculations were correct, he should be right outside a small town in West Virginia. Surprisingly enough, he didn't have to stop to steal gas once. He said a quick thank you again to whoever designed that dreadful prison of his. Some lucky hiker was going to have a good time if they could ever figure out how to fly it.

Destructo was still in his standard issue prison jumpsuit, so the first order of business was to find civilian clothes. He set off into the woods heading southwest toward the town that was only a few miles from his landing zone. After about a minute of hiking, he heard two voices past a nearby thicket of trees. He crept up as quietly as one possibly could in the woods to listen in on their conversation. It was a pair of kids, teenagers from the sound of it.

"I don't know about this Bobby," a girl's voice said.

"What's wrong, Susie," a boy's voice, Bobby's voice, said, "We love each other right?"

Czar Destructo had stumbled right into a let's-have-sex-for-the-first-time conversation, and it was as clichéd and obvious as it can get. He rolled his eyes to himself.

"Well, or course we do," Susie replied, but there was an apprehension thick in her voice, "but I don't know if I'm ready. Daddy says I'm supposed to wait for marriage."