Chapter Sixteen: He Knows He Has to Change

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"Date me," He finally said. A heartbeat later, he added, "...Please."

You felt a tightening in your chest.

Date him?

Your first instinct was to say yes and kiss him.

But the intellectual, responsible parts of your brain were warning Slow down. There are still things that need to be covered.

You'd blurted a lot of thoughtless, humiliating, and unintentional things while in his presence before, but you weren't about to make another mistake – especially not one that could hurt him if you changed your mind later.

Truth be told, there were several reasons why you knew you shouldn't date Zao.

You'd known nearly all of them since the day you met him and the time afterward. They'd always lingered in the back of your mind like a type of bitter medicine that wouldn't go away. You'd always tried to push them aside; you wanted to enjoy your time with him. There was no denying that you'd fallen for him despite his faults, and you'd allowed yourself to do so.

He still had ties to drug dealing. He hasn't gone to school for the past two years. He was knowledgeable, but in a street-smart sort of way more than anything else. Your parents weren't aware that he was an emancipated minor and probably wouldn't like the path he was going down. They didn't know much of anything about him, in all honesty.

It struck you that neither did you.

For example, you didn't even know why he'd left China, or what happened between him and his parents. You didn't know what caused his own mother and father to despise him enough to sign out of guardianship of him. From what it sounded like, they'd disowned him. Not only that, but his roommates were in the same situation. How did they really know each other and how did they all break away from the responsibility of their parents? Why?

You could never imagine yourself or anyone you knew in their circumstance. If Zao wasn't the one in question, then how bad could his parents be? Were they tyrants? Emotionally unstable? Abusive? Were they fucking crazy? Seriously, how could any parent let this happen to their son? Could the reason be something heinous; something he couldn't bear to tell you?

And the most important question: would you allow him to keep these secrets from you?

His whole case was unnatural. He would be your first real boyfriend, and the condition he was in didn't make it any simpler. You liked him, yes, but you needed to think of what's actually best for you. Even Flavio and Oliver had advised you to remain cautious over contemplating a relationship with Zao.

In the end, you'd decided within those few moments that you couldn't start dating him until you knew exactly why he came here and why he ditched his parents. Also, not until he agreed to come back to school, if that was possible. And... you'd make him promise not to be involved with drugs anymore. High standards? Maybe, but they were important to you. This was the right thing to do. You weren't going to act like a young, stupid girl blinded by love.

Besides, you knew he wouldn't refuse.

"Zao..."

"I know." He somberly exhaled, " I shouldn't have said that."

His statement caught you off guard. "Huh...?"

"You... you don't think we should be together, do you?"

You looked down, and in this time, he finally pulled away to give you some space. "Well... there are some things..." You began.

"Some things. Right. I know," You could have sworn he sounded optimistic for a second there. "I'll fix them, babe, don't worry. I'll make myself worthy of you." Without warning, he leaned in to brush his lips over yours in an unspoken promise.

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