Journalism | Shinkano
Words: 1.1k
Genre: Angst
.___.
Shintaro found out one day, one horrible day, that he was really a whole lot ignorant than he thought.
All he noticed was crying from a few of the members of the mekakushi dan one morning.
He went up to Kido, who seemed to be crying the most (besides seto perhaps. Maybe there was a tie).
The news struck him like a punch. It knocked all the breath out of him, and he felt a pain in his chest.
He didnt believe it at first. He only muttered about it being false. He texted the number that was his- he didnt get a response as soon as he usually did. He didnt get a response.
Maybe he just didnt have his phone on him.
But when he turned on the TV he couldnt hide it any more. When a newscaster reported, "a boy mangled in a car wreck," he shook and turned back off the TV.
He hadnt cried in a while. But he cried. And cried. His chest hurt, and he didnt know why.
He didnt know why he was in his room(the next day). He didnt know why he decided to look around. Maybe he would feel better if he hadnt.
He found a book. Titled with his name. He didnt know why he read when it said 'DONT READ'.
10/6
The others bought me a journal for me to write stuff in. Like they expect me to- theyll probably just come in and read it while i sleep.
Shintaro felt like he was being intrusive.
He read on anyway. He blamed human nature for being so curious.
(A specific old saying about curiosity and a cat popped up in his head, but he pushed it back- cats only made him think of his messy blonde hair..)
...he skipped a few pages.
18/7
Well, happy Sea Day! Ayano and her parents (and me and Kido and Seto) went to the beach today.
...Kosuke refused to get near the water. Dork.
So he saw that at this point, she was still around. Thats good news i guess. His eyes burned as he skipped a whole section. He knew sometime in this year Ayanos Mom had died (Ayaka, he believed).
Passing that, he chuckled as he scanned over pages and pages of saying "who the hell is shintaro?" Or "i hate that guy. Hes such an ass to sis!"
He had known that, however.
He didnt know why he decided to read one of the 17th of August.
17/8
..I hate this. I hate everything. Im not alright. I hate these stupid eyes.
Shintaros eyes softened when he read that. He realized he had a soft spot for the kid he supposed.
He skimmed over the next few.
'Why do I try? Everything i do backfires.'
'I really hate i cant tell them anything I've seen. Gods know I cant do this on my own.. Im just a liar. I miss Ayano..'
Tears formed at his eyes again. He couldnt read titles anymore.
'We moved out of the house. I really didnt feel safe staying there anymore. So, I convinced Tsubomi. Thank god Kosuke co-operated too.'
He seemed to had made notes on one page under that.
'Kosuke- Seto
Tsubomi- Kido
In case im an idiot and forget :P'
He skimmed over more.
'Shintaro stopped going to school I heard somewhere. Off the street. I feel sorta bad for him, but really, he sorta deserved it after what he did to sis.'
Shintaro shrugged. He knew he was an ass to her, and tried to shrug it off like it didnt hurt (it really did though).
'Seto brought in a girl. Her name is Marry- I dont think shes taken a real liking to me- then again, who does like me? Haha'
'Im just a joke arent I? Thats what they think dont they?
...
... Well if thats true, maybe I'll be the funniest one they have ever heard. Maybe if I'm funny, then some spirits'll be lightened? Everythings been so stressed out lately.'
He choked up as he started to reach a concusion.
It looked like it said the 13th of August.
It talked about how he was expecting something to happen, but not wanting it to happen. About keeping up this 'mask' and act strong, even if he isnt, not for himself, for the others.
He also talked about her 2 year anniversary.
... It was this year.
He was reaching the end of the journal.
Under the heading of 16th of August, it looked like he had trouble gathering words.
The page looked tear stained as much were the others (not that more wasnt happening from Shintaros own tears. Wait, when had he started crying?)
'...its over. Its all.. Over. The demon eyes are gone of all of us. Does this mean our whole thing is over? It cant be. Even though the day was practically hell,(wasnt it all hell?) it went by quicker than I expected. Is everyone gonna leave? Does this mean...' Shintaro couldnt keep reading that page. It approached September.
'Mostly everyones went their own ways. Kido stays with me and Shintaro visits often. (If i didnt mention before, since I saw Shintaro 2 years ago hes grown way nicer. Remorse maybe? Anyway, tagent for another day <3)
...I guess my life is 'normal' now?
..In the end.. Did I help anything or just cause more trouble..?'
The last journal entry only read (Shintaro supposed, he could barely read it) 'Im going out.'
Shintaro threw the book and curled up and sobbed.
His heart panged. Even though after losing his eye power he lost looking like he was mostly healthy, he was still wonderful to him, he loved looking at him and he didnt realize how much he missed it until it was gone.
He missed his stupid and corny jokes and their talks of topics people wouldnt understand.
He missed him. He missed his friend(he thought even more of him than he'd like to admit).
He was so stupid. He shouldve realized so much. He just wanted to help, didnt he?
And now it was too late for him to tell him anything that mattered.
He screwed everything up again. Sobs and wails were muffled as he shoved his face into his bedsheets(which still smelt like him).
"K-Kano... Im s-so sorry..."
Shintaro found he was more than ignorant. He was stupid(in his own words).
