Unexpected Feelings: Lingess

Confusion

More than a week has past now since the incident at the locker room. The incident no dares to speak about. Not her. Not Kim. Not Adam and definitely not Jay.

Speaking of Jay, he have been oddly distant lately, ignoring her to be exact.

She doesn't now why.

He's not trying to beg her for forgiveness like he would when she's mad at him and to be honest, she absolutely miss the attention.

Did she push him too far?

She had texted him a couple of times after work but she never got an answer.

Not once.

At work, he would only act professionally - no flirting, no banter or secret kissing in the break room.

Like they would.

She had even asked to grab a drink after work or to come over to keep her company in her cold cold apartment but he kept giving her excuses.

"Can't. Having dinner with Will."

"Sorry. Made plans with Adam."

"My phone must have died."

"My phone's on vibrate."

"I was in the shower."

"WHY YOU GOTTA BE SUCH AN OVERBEARING PYSCHO BITCH?!"

His words from last night rang loudly in her ears.

He called her a bitch!

Yesterday, they had their first argument/fight as a ... whatever they're called.

A couple?

Hardly.

Harsh words were not the only things thrown at each other. It was more like a one person job. While he apologised for calling her a bitch, she wasn't having any of it and continued to lash out as she threw a couple of glasses, books and a chair, just a chair, at him before storming out of his apartment.

She knows she wrong but he knows she has a temper. So basically, they're both at fault.

Of course, they were both cranky since they hadn't slept for 3 days. 36 hours filled with caffeine, the only ingredient keeping them awake and alive. 3 days straight without any sleep can only result in mania.

Voight ought to be blamed for her behaviour last night.

Now at the bull pen, she sat at her desk with a cup of coffee, her head resting on the table. She was still exhausted, having only 3 hours of sleep last night. The majority of which were filled with tears. Angry and confused tears.

She's confusing herself. Jumbling her affections everywhere. Never did she likes feelings. It's unnecessary and problematic.

It's causing her more problems in her life than it should.

She's conflicted with feeling for both Jay and Kim. She wants Jay and she too wants Kim. Jay and Kim. But she knows she can't have them both. She doesn't know what to do.
To pursue her affection for Kim, something that's thrilling, new and different. Or should she just stay with Jay, whom is her comfort, and smile.

He doesn't really make her smile anymore.

At the break room, she heard a voice curse, she smiled knowing whose voice that was. She took a sip of her coffee as he stormed out.

"Why'd you finished all the sugar, Erin? I bought a new pack 3 days ago!"

"No. I didn't." she said, gaving him a sly smile. She loves messing with him when he's angry.