Unexpected Feelings: Lingess

Defeat

Her eyes flung open at the extremely loud knock on the door. Confused by her surroundings, she looked around the small room, wondering whose apartment she was in this time. Boxes of takeout and dirty plates piled up in the kitchen. It seemed like no one had done the dishes in weeks. A strong putrid smell of vomit hang in the air, making her nauseous. As her brain was so overloaded by so many different sensations, it was only then that it hit her, she was in her own apartment.

Soon, the knocking grew impatient. The sound pounding in her head. She forced herself to stand but was too weak to do so. Hoping it was Voight since she really needed him right now, more than ever.

"Erin!" The distant voice sounded familiar but it couldn't quite ring a bell.
"Erin!! Open this door!! I know you're in there!!" the voice continued. She rolled her eyes, she knows who's behind that door.
"No, she's not. Go away, Jay!!" she whined.

Jay let out a huge sigh of relief the moment he heard her raspy voice. For a second there, he had feared the worse.

Despite the fact that she very much wanted to be with somebody tonight, she didn't want Jay to see her and her apartment in this filthy state. She still wanted to keep her undefeatable image in his eyes.

To her surprise, the door swung open. She stared shocked, as he stared back with wide eyes, baffled by her appearance.
In just a few weeks, she has now managed to lose quite a considerable amount of weight. Her cheeks that were once plump, were now boney and hollow. Her skin looked sickly and eyes were blood shot, filled with agony. He was embarrassed that he hadn't noticed the severity of her condition until now. They work together for crying out loud.

"How'd ya get in?" she slurred and buried her head on her pillow. Not allowing him to stare at her a second longer. From the look he was giving her, she knows she was a total wreck.

Jay continued to stand at her doorway, hesitant to approach her. Although they were no longer in speaking terms, he would very much forget all the mishaps for Erin since she clearly needs a friend right now.

"I was going to return the key you gave me when...umm...but yeah." he explained awkwardly.
"Whatever. Just leave it on the table and go." she muffled against the pillow, exasperated.

Saying just a few words has already sucked up all her energy. She needed her fix to feel better again. She then remembered she had finished the last of it and cursed at herself. She wanted to be happy again and needed that short lasting euphoria. She needed this emptiness and pain to stop. She just needed her life to stop.

He simply ignored her and made his way to her kitchen. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of the straws and pipes lying innocently on the coffee table. He reminisced of the days when life was simple, just the both of them against the world. He missed the days where they would cuddle up and rest their feet lazily on that very table. Sadly, it was now replaced by the memory of all her paraphernalia.

"I thought we could have dinner together." he said, carefully cleared the coffee table. "I know for a fact you haven't eaten all day."
Now as she thought about it, she definitely can't remember the last time she had eaten.

He grinned at Erin as he opened the box. "It's your favourite, Cheesy Delight."
She stared at the heavenly food, inhaling the scent of cheese and baked dough.
"Not hungry. Please just leave." she sniffed, wiping snot off her face. She never thought her body was capable of making that much mucus.

Jay was enraged that she's still so utterly stubborn and not letting anyone in. Even at her lowest, she haven't changed a single bit.
"Erin, can you stop being so freaking stubborn for one second?" he sat down on the floor by the edge of the couch so he can better look at her. "Look where that attitude has gotten you."