Doctor Who: The Evangelion Error (Book Two)

E11 Part 1: A Starless Life

Inside Unit One. Somewhere.
T+18 minutes

Shinji Ikari stared into the void. Whether or not it stared back at him, he couldn't tell.

He sighed. Well, he thought. Here I am again.

***

Command Center. NERV Headquarters.
October 2015. Earlier that day.

"Misato, look --" Still dressed in his civilian clothes, Shinji followed close on the captain's heels as she strode onto the command deck. "I-I know how this must sound, but -- I'm really trying my best not to complain here, you know? Honest."

"Are you now," Misato said flatly.

"It's just -- i-it all builds up, you know? It's been building --"

"Look, if you've got a way to make that --" Misato pointed her thumb up at the image of the huge zebra-striped sphere hovering over the city. "-- recognize your day off, then I'm all ears. Otherwise --"

"It's not a day off," Shinji insisted. "It's a Crazy Day."

Misato sighed. "Whatever you call it, it doesn't exist for us, okay? For any of us."

"I know, I know. It's just --" Shinji crossed his arms. "I'm not like the rest of you, okay? I've tried. I've really tried. But I haven't been trained for this. And all of this stuff that's happened -- I don't know why, but I just can't push it out of my head the way the rest of you can. I need some kind of break from it, or --"

"Ugh. Are you still whining about that?" From the live video feed hovering over Makoto's console, Asuka gave Shinji a look of pure disgust. She sat inside of Unit Two down in the Cages, ready for launch. "What's the big deal, anyway? I've seen you on your days off. All you do is mope around and read, same as you always do."

"Easy for you to say," Shinji grumbled. "Every day's a Crazy Day for you."

It was sort of impressive, actually, just how quickly the redhead's face could go from an expression of disdain to one of all-consuming rage. "WHAT WAS THAT?!"

"See?" Shinji looked at Misato and gestured towards Asuka's screen. "This is what I'm talking about! I'm gonna pay for that later, and I don't even care! That's where I am right now!"

Misato sighed. The lieutenant handed her a clipboard. She flipped through the pages.

"What I'm trying to say is -- it's getting to be too much, you know?" Shinji pleaded. "That's why they're called Crazy Days. Because that's what I'll be if I don't have time to process things! Just think about all of it, I mean -- the statue. The attack on the school. Lilith. You know what it's like having to carry that around all the time?"

"Uh, yeah? I was there for all of that, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. Right." Shinji waved his hand at the video feed from Unit Zero's entry plug. "B-but you didn't spend eight hours with your head as a playground for some crazy Russian lady, did you? Who I guess we're trusting again, even though she tried to kill us all last week!" On the screen, Rei shifted her eyes. Shinji felt an immediate pang of guilt. "Oh. Sorry. Rei? Rei -- it's not you. It doesn't have anything to do with you. It's just -- your robot has issues, okay?"

Rei blinked and tilted her head.

"We've put in some new safeguards," Misato said. "And Rei says she thinks she can keep Zero in line from now on."