Faith

Chapter One

Mark 6:6 (NIV) -- And he was amazed at their lack of faith.

I should have gotten out of bed like any other day. I should have pushed back the covers and got up and stretched like nothing was wrong. But that would be only acting. Everything has went wrong since cancer took away my mom.

I grabbed my sweatshirt that hung on my bed post and slipped it on over my head. As I opened my door, I could hear muffled sobs from the room across the hallway. It was my dad. He sniffed and started talking.

"Dear Father, please help me get through today. And please help Kaitlyn stay strong even though she doesn't ask for your help. Please-" I slipped away before I could hear more. I don't understand Dad's commitment to God. He refused to help me when I needed it, so why would He help me now?

I walked straight into the kitchen, stomach grumbling, and approached the fridge. The calendar was hanging on the fridge door. I avoided taking a glance at the sheet of paper, as if ignoring the date will make the day go away. March 15th. A date engraved in my mind for a whole year: the day Mom died.

I rested my forehead against the cool metal of the fridge and thought, "Mom, I miss you. I wish you were here. I need you so much. I love you too; don't forget it." I brushed away my tears when I heard footsteps approach.

I turned to see my dad in his robe, t-shirt, and sweats, his unbrushed brown hair sticking out haphazardly. "Kaitlyn," he said with a raspy voice. "If you don't want to go to school today I understand."

I shook my head. Put on a brave voice. Don't let him see you hurting. "Dad, I'm fine. I don't need to miss school, and my friends will help cheer me up." I grabbed a banana from the counter and moved to brush by, but Dad grabbed my arm.

"You'll visit her, right?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. What kind of question was that? Of course I would. "Yes, Dad."

"Kaitlyn, do you think you could at least pray at her grave? For your mother. I know I can't force you, but -"

Cutting him off, I shook my head and continued upstairs. I didn't want to see my dad's hurt face.

In my room, I pulled a pair of skinny jeans from my closet. Months later and it still felt more comfortable to wear my choice of clothes, as opposed to a stuffy school uniform. I'm glad I transferred from the private school after my mom passed away.

I captured my black hair into a low side ponytail. In my mirror, I grimaced at the sight of my roots growing in. Re-dying my hair is bothersome, but I don't think I can look in the mirror at the blonde hair so similar to Mom's.

I finished my banana, grabbed my bag and books, and dashed downstairs. I flew out the door before Dad stopped me and started my walk to school. My car is in the shop for oil change, and I haven't gotten around to picking it up. I passed by my dad's preacher as he was jogging past. "I hope to see you again soon, Kaitlyn. May our Father be with you on this hard day."

I kept my eyes forward and didn't react to the preacher. Instead, I crossed my arms over my torso, shielding my body from the early spring chills. I continued my walk to school - luckily interruption-free. At the school entrance, Ryan was in the process of walking into the school, until she looked over her shoulder. Enthusiastically, she waved for my attention, and I smiled at her. When we approached each other, Ryan engulfed me in a huge hug.

"How was your dad today?" she asked. "What did he say to you? Did you say anything to him?"

I shrugged in response, not answering her questions. Ryan was my only close friend as of lately. We had been childhood friends and, when I pushed everyone else away, she never left my side, no matter how difficult.

Ryan picked up her pom-pom set from the ground and shook them in my face. "Hurry to class, you pessimist. Remember, I'm here as an ear, shoulder, or entertainer."

I smiled at Ryan and her never-ending peppy attitude. Her infectious smile lit up my world whenever I felt down. We may wear similar clothing and listen to the same music, but her outlook on the world greatly contradicts mine.

Together, we walked into the school building. I tuned Ryan out as she talked about pointless drama like who broke up and who got together. We reached our lockers before she realized I hadn't listened to a word she'd said. "Kaitlyn!" she yelled as she poked me. "Did you hear any of that?"

"Nope!" I popped my lips. "Did I need to?"

Ryan rolled her eyes. "I was telling you we have a new student here!"

"Ryan, I could care less."

"But I've heard he is hot," she cooed, failing to tempt me. I shook my head and left her behind as I walked to my first period class.

After school, I walked out of the building alone. Ryan had cheer practice. Instead of going home, I went the opposite way towards the cemetery. I was tempted to jog there and arrive quicker. I was tired of the looks of pity and "May God be with you."

I've never realized how religious my small-town community is until I couldn't stand to listen. If only my neighbors could realize that He wasn't there for me then and He won't be here for me now.

I found a rock to kick and entertain myself as I walked down the sidewalk. I became invested in the stupid rock that I didn't notice the truck pull up beside me. I looked up, surprised, to see a young male's eyes on me.

He had close cut sandy hair and deep, mesmerizing gray eyes. We stared at each other for a while before he said something. "I asked you if you need a ride." His voice was sweet and velvety, and it reminded me of chocolate, smoothly memorizing with each syllable.

My heart thumped at the sound of his voice. "Uh, no, I like to walk." I said flatly, needing to hide all emotion.

The mysterious boy faced forward and gripped the steering wheel. I saw his toned arms flex. "Don't start drooling, Kaitlyn." I told myself. "He'll see it, and that's just embarrassing." I turned away but heard him continue to talk.

"Well, okay. I was trying to be nice and get you out of this weather," he said, speaking through his teeth. I saw his jaw clench slightly when I looked back in his direction.

"Thanks, but I don't need your help!" I snapped. Could he just leave me alone and let me go visit my mom in peace? 

He glared at me with his dark gray eyes. "Bye then," he muttered. I turned on my heel and continued to walk towards the cemetery without a second glance at the gray-eyed boy.

Inside the cemetery, with each passing grave, I thought more about my final destination: my mom's grave. The unknown boy was quickly forgotten as my mind filled with thoughts of my mom and the past year.

Without my mom by my side, this year was long and incredibly lonely. I felt helpless without her kind words of advice. Only memories of my mom remain.

I reached Mom's grave and sat down next to it. I used this opportunity to let out my restricted tears. "Mom, I miss you so much."

A/N: omg i actually got a chapter up! I was motivated though by the fact that just the chapter by its self is #211 on Spirtual! so yay:):) uh I hope this is pretty good don't worry you'll get to know more about Kaitlyn! and who is the gray eyed hottie?? i wonder;)

Lol at my thirteen-year-old self up above ^^ It's actually really embarrassing... Anyways! Thanks to my amazing editor, this chapter and the prologue are now written even better :) Hope you guys enjoy it more.