Faith

Chapter Fifteen

Psalm 119:28 (NIV) -- My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word.

I woke up this morning, completely refreshed. "I could get used to this feeling," I thought with a huge smile. Deep inside, I know I'm no longer alone in knowing my secrets. And I know that Sam wants to help me.

I laid there, in bed, and started to think. What would a world with less pain, less reminders of pain, be like? What would it be like to have Jake gone? Then my phone buzzed, interrupting my stream of thoughts. I picked it up and saw Sam's name pop up.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey Kaitlyn!" Sam said from the other end. I could tell he was smiling. "How would you feel if I took you to school?"

I smiled. "I would maybe be okay with that."

"Maybe?"

"That is what I said."

Sam's laughter rang through the phone. "Okay then. I'll be there in a couple minutes. See you soon, Kaitlyn." I didn't even have the chance to say bye back because he hang up. So instead I went to go get ready. It didn't take too long, so I had time to eat breakfast.

Sam had arrived when I was finishing up my food. He knocked on the door and Dad had let him in. Sam is now sitting at the table with me and my dad, talking about church things. I smiled and shook my head as I put my dishes in the sink.

"Come on, Sam. You are here to taking me to school, right?"

Sam grinned at me. "I didn't forget, Kaitlyn. But if you are in a hurry..." he trailed off and winked.

My dad stood up. "Well, I guess I better say goodbye, Sam. Kaitlyn is anxious to leave." The three of us walked to the door, but Sam and I continued outside. We got into his truck.

It was the same red one from when Sam and I first met outside the cemetery. Instead of refusing a ride like before, I climbed into the leather passenger seat.

I had also happened to look back at the house. Dad was standing in the doorway, arms crossed on his chest, and a smile was on his face. I waved goodbye as Sam drove off.

"Kaitlyn, your dad really cares about you," Sam said to me, eyes never leaving the road. "I think he will be really happy to see you get your faith back."

I licked my lips nervously when Sam talked about my faith. "Yeah, I know. That's why I'm doing it." Then I paused shortly, but continued. "Will this be a slow progress? I don't know if I can let God into my life that easily. It will be weird. And He might not even want me back."

"Kaitlyn, the first thing you need to know is that God forgives everyone. He just wants to help you, and as long as you forgive yourself, He will more than gladly take you back. Don't worry; I will do this carefully."

"Okay then, Mr. Careful," I joked. "What will be your first step in this process?"

Sam laughed. "Well, I am going to help you by getting over your past. And to start off, you will need to talk to your best friend."

I ignored my stomach twisting. "You mean, Ryan? The girl that would be absolutely crushed that this all happened underneath her nose?" Sam nodded. I groaned, "Sam! This would kill her. I can't tell her."

"Kaitlyn, don't you trust me?"

"Yeah, obviously."

"Then trust me on this. You have to tell Ryan. The more people you tell, the easier you can share your story. And then we can tell someone official, and they will get rid of Jake."