bullying the bullies | aspir | ✓

01 | find

01

f i n d

I stare at the newly popped up message, my eyes narrowed in concern. I refresh the page, but the message stays there, and for some reason it stands out in a jarring manner.

blueflash_1703 - I'm always bullied, like 24/7 and sometimes I've thought about just slitting my wrists. I feel like sometimes bullies need a taste of their own medicine.

I read the comment again, trying to see whether I'll be able to pick up some new information. But no. All I can find, is myself agreeing to the comment on my latest blog post.

Sometimes bullies do need a taste of their own medicine.

XxX XxX XxX XxX

I place a hand on top of my mouth to cover the sounds of my breathing. Next, I carefully place my booted feet up onto the top of the commode, such that I'm squatting on it, in an extremely uncomfortable manner. This is to avoid anyone spotting the heel of my boots from the open slat underneath.

It was my own mistake to use the restroom even though it's known to all of the girls in our school, that during recess the restroom is off-limits to anyone who isn't a member of Mikaela Benston's squad.

Social ladders suck, I know.

Suddenly my ears prick up, and I stop chipping the nail polish off my finger. Did I just hear them say -

"Cynical Angel's blog post? I checked it out before school. It was hilarious," I hear Alyssa Charlie's voice exclaim.

"That girl's rad," Mikaela says, and I wonder. If they knew who was actually behind all those blog posts would they still think of me as 'rad'? Definitely not.

"You know, I wish Cynical Angel was a girl at our school. I'd totally be her best friend," another girl says.

"Carmen, can you please shut up? No one's going to be your best friend if you're going to walk around school with that ugly zit. You're not only lowering what little reputation you have, but you're also taking down our's. Come here, I'll see if my concealer can help," Mikaela drawls out.

I mentally laugh at how ridiculous the whole situation is. From the outside, it appears as though Mikaela's squad is absolutely perfect, but no one really knows the ugly and fake friendship that has brewed amongst all of them. Mikaela and Alyssa act as though they're the ones in charge and the rest of them dig around for what little respect they can earn amongst the group.

"Okay this isn't working. Carmen do you think you can go home early today? We really can't have you walking around like this."

And at this I let out a strangled sound of mirth, and immediately I clamp my hand on to my mouth and press, hard hoping they didn't hear.

But no one ever escapes from the sharp Mikaela. She is a cheerleader alright, but being mean is where the stereotypes end, because she isn't blonde, and she definitely is not dumb.

"Did you hear that?" She asks, her voice cutting crisply across the echoing restroom. My heart starts beating furiously, and my mind conjures up various situations that could happen if they find out that I'm inside.

"That was probably from the outside," someone suggests.

I cross my fingers, hoping Mikaela will listen to whoever that was, but of course she doesn't. I hear the sounds of her heels clacking against the tiles of the bathroom, and the sounds of the lavatory doors swinging open and then closed. One by one, and the sound becomes closer. My heart beat is extremely fast right now, and I can feel it thudding. My hands begin to sweat, my head feels dizzy, and I let out a shaky breath.