The reason

Chapter 21

"What do you want me to say?" He asks, wanting to know what will make it easier to leave.

"Tell me why you left. Why I wasn't good enough for you to stay." The venom in my voice must cause him to falter. For the first time, dad looks taken off guard.

"I didn't want to leave you, but your mother convinced me you'd be better off with her. She blamed me for Ben's death. My presence was making her distraught and I couldn't take it anymore. She was going mad from grief." He sounds tired, like admitting it takes everything out of him. "I didn't know she'd hurt you, I swear. I could have helped you." I don't believe him, ven our neighbours could tell mum was weird, couldn't he see the screw loose in her mind - the one person that was supposed to know her better than anyone.

"You never called, never tried to see me again." Ben's fingers rubbing circles on my shoulder is the only thing stopping me from flying at my dad. I want to make him feel the pain his absence has caused me.

"I thought a clean break would be best. I had nowhere to go for a while, I wasn't sure it was the best place for you by my side." He's actually convinced himself it's true. His pleading hazel eyes make me want to hurl on him. I won't believe him, he is not a true father.

"If you want, you can come and live with us. We'll make it work." He says, sounding defeated, but I won't take him up on it, I've learnt to survive without him.

"It's okay. I don't want anything to do with you and your perfect new family. Our agreement will work and hopefully I'll never see you again." I stand up with him, letting my old mask slip into place. He doesn't even wait until he's out the door before letting the relief show on his face. I stand at the door and watch the sleek car glide away, surprised to feel I actually am glad to see him leave. As a little girl, I wanted nothing more than for him to run back to us and save the day. Be the big hero I remembered him to be. Now I know that was never going to happen. At some point I moved on and learned to survive. Now I have a chance at happiness.

"Hey, do you think he likes me?" Ben asks, trying to lighten the mood as he tightens his arm around me.

"He didn't even notice you. Did you see the way he acted? Do his duty and leave. He doesn't care about me." For some bizarre reason tears are running down my face. Ben immediately pulls me closer  into a hug, asking me if I'm okay.

"I'm not sad." I tell him, cuddling against his chest. I can feel how perplexed he is, wondering if I'm going mad. "I don't care about him either." And then I'm chuckling through the tears and Ben's just holding me tightly, riding my emotions.

"Are you okay about it? I know you expected him to be happy and stuff." He's looking intently at me, trying to read the answer in my eyes.

"I was just deluding myself. But hey, we got a house out of this." I stretch my arms out wide.

"We?" He asks and I check under the inside mat by the door. Feeling my fingers curl around cold metal, I rise and give it to him.

"Of course. Come around any time." I say and give him a long kiss. When I pull back he groans and says "I know what you're going to say." I smile and pick up my schoolbag. "Time to face the music."

To their credit, my fellow students don't waste any time in starting the latest torture. Not even the sight of my boyfriend/personal bodyguard can deter them.

"Hey, emo girl. Why you hanging around with a murderer?" One boy who I've never talked to before calls out as I enter the gates. "They probably exchange the best ways to stab." A friend of his yells back, just so I can hear. Ben takes a step towards him, but I place my hand on his arm to stop him. "It's only going to get worse." I murmur to him and hold him close. Taunts and chuckles path our way into the building and we make it to first period relatively unscathed. Naturally there's a drawing of a dead woman on the ground and an empty bottle beside her on the board. I don't even need to snickers from the back to tell me who did it. The teacher says nothing, just rubs it off and starts talking. The snickers continue all through second period, accompanied by spit balls and the usual.

Morning tea, long the dreaded time of day is now even more terrifying. But at least I don't have to face it alone. I'm sitting on the school steps with Ben, trying to avoid people when Brian turns up. This should be interesting.

"I wasn't sure you were going to show." He says, not even bothering to say hi. How terribly rude of him - note the sarcasm.

"Why? I do go to school here." I point out to him making him sound dumb.

"There were rumours you offed yourself with your junkie of a mother." The scowl on his face quickly fades. Well it's nice to know that being insulted makes him happier.

"Sorry to disappoint." I say sarcastically and he gives a menacing once over of Ben.

"You're still hanging around him? Does it turn you on, the fact that he killed your dear little mummy? Isn't that what you all get off on - pain?" Ben starts walking towards them but I pull him back, causing the jocks behind Brian to snicker.

"Need your girlfriend to control you, Samuels? You're both pathetic." He sneers down at us.

"Leave her alone or I swear you'll regret it." Ben says, his usually calm personality gone.

"Watcha gonna do, lover boy? Kiss me to death?" The crowd erupts into laughter.

"How would you feel if your mum died, huh? You'd probably cry yourself to sleep with your teddy bear." There's no way Brian will let that one go. His jaw tightens, and if looks could kill, we'd be ashes. "Well at least my mum is still alive. It's probably a good thing your mum's dead." He spits at me.

And now Brian's the one who's gone too far. Before any of them can stop him, Ben take a quick step forward and punches Brian so hard in the gut that Brian stumbles and falls over. The other jocks only react once Ben leans down, his knuckles white as he grips Brian's collar and says, "If you ever mock her or her mother again I will personally see to it that you barely live the next day. Got it?" His hand tightens further, until Brian's face starts to go red and he nods. Chucking him away, Ben grabs my arm and leads me away.

A/N As soon as I got a spare minute I sat down and wrote this - I'm really sorry for the wait. I've just been busy with exams coming up in the next week or so. I might not get the chance to update tomorrow because I'll be trick or treating with friends, but if I don't I'll definitely update Friday. <3