We end up talking about
nothing in particular
after that -
school, favorite foods,
college plans.
Matty really loves blueberries,
I find out,
but detests peaches.
She wants to
study psychology to be
a therapist
when she grows up
(something our school
doesn't have a class for,
to her dismay)
to help kids who have
traumatizing home situations,
as well as
victims of domestic abuse.
It's a good choice for her,
I think.
She has a relaxing aura
about her -
and she's already helped me
with my own problems
on more than one occasion,
and has helped calm me down
on others.
She's helped,
even though she has
no idea
what precisely
she's helping with -
but I quickly shove
that nagging thought away.
When the conversation
turns to my own
future plans,
I just shrug.
I'm not the kind of person
with a very specific,
obvious talent or trait
that immediately determines
my future career path.
I'm Cam,
a person with
average grades,
unspecific interests,
and a rather
mundane personality.
I have none of
my mother's charisma
or Matty's empathy
or any other
outstanding qualities
that would nominate me
for a certain kind
of work.
I'm just Cam -
an in-between person
who's not really anything
in particular.
Some days,
I think the only unusual
or unique thing
about me
is my gender.
"I like chemistry,"
I find myself saying
not-so-convincingly.
"Maybe I'll end up
doing something
with that."
The whole statement hinges
on that first word -
maybe.
Maybe I'll study
chemistry in college;
maybe I'll be
successful;
maybe I'll find
people who accept me
for who I am
in spite of the fact
that I'm not considered to be
a 'normal' person
by most everyone else.
There's no guarantee
in my life
any more
that these kinds of things
will happen.
But as she has
every time before now,
Matty understands,
even without all the details
or the specifics of
what I'm really thinking.
"I know you'll be great
at whatever you
choose to do,"
she assures me.
"So don't stress -
we still have time
to make up our minds,
for sure,
right?"
And just like that,
she puts the rightness
back into the wrongness
of my life
and mends my
fractured heart
with that bright,
encouraging smile
she wears so well.
It lights up the night
until it's almost
as bright as the day -
and I can't help but
smile with her
and imagine that everything
is all right,
even if I know
somewhere
that it never will be.
But for this moment -
just this moment -
I can pretend,
and I do.
×
I dunno about y'all, but I'm feelin' a bit overworked and underpaid over here... I wish the people I work with would get their act together, because it's super stressful for me. Either that, or I need to find someone to publish me so I can just write for a living instead, lmao.
Anyway, if you guys liked this chapter, please feel free to vote and leave me some feedback below! It would be much appreciated! Also, this story is nearing on 1K reads and when I woke up to see that this morning, I legitimately freaked out. Thank you guys so much! I love all of you, oh my god. You guys are just amazing and I'm so glad that so many people are taking an interest in Cam's story!!
Another thing: I'm planning on starting a side story for either Flory or Matty next (I'm gonna do both, but I'm not quite sure which will be written first), so keep an eye out for that in the near future!! c:
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Misalignment | ✔
Teen Fiction"There are a million shades of grey between their black and their white - but no one ever cares to see them." In a world with a limited view of gender, Cam Shills struggles to come to terms with their identity as neither male nor female, a shade of...
