Dejected

Release Through Pain

CHAPTER FOUR

I woke up from another night of tossing and turning. Thank god it's Saturday. I got up, and headed towards my bathroom to take a shower. I scrub myself clean, and head back to my room. My father works weekends so I don't have to stress about running into him at home until six. Once I'm back in my room, I get dressed in a loose old band shirt, and some black shorts. I put my hair in a high pony tail, then grab my pipe. I roll up a towel to stuff into the bottom of my door, load a bowl, and open up my window sitting down next to it in my purple bean bag chair. Taking the first hit, a intoxicating smell of weed engulfs me, and I blow the smoke out of my window so it doesn't spread through out the house. I grab my stereo remote, and press play. 'The Nobodies' Marilyn Manson starts blasting through my speakers, and I start to get really high. Now with coke I get really high, and I'm able to not give a shit and be a bitch, but with weed I get really happy, friendly, and also don't give a shit. I get some eye drops from my dresser and put them in my eyes so they aren't as red, or heavy then grab my note pad and pencils. I sit back down next to my window and start drawing.

After drawing for a while, I get my pipe again then take a huge hit on accident and start coughing up a lung while giggling about how high I just got. Once I've gotten myself under control I heard my doorbell ring. Who the hell could that be?

Turning off my music, I grab a sweatshirt, put eyes drops in my eyes again, and remove the towel from underneath my door. Walking down the stairs slowly, I start to hum the Mission Impossible theme song to myself, and press my back up against the wall.

Did someone smell the smoke?

Did the neighbors call the cops?

Do I look stupid right now? Ha! Probably. 

Lost in thought, I trip over my feet on the last two steps of the stairs, and almost face plant. This starts up a round of giggling that I try to control, but fail miserably. Wiping the tears under my eyes, and biting my lip so I can stop grinning like a idiot, I slowly open the door.

"Hey, I got a package for B. Simmons." the UPS guys said.

"That's me." I said excitedly. I know exactly what's in it.

"Alright, if you could just sign here, I'll be on my way." he said with a smile.

I grab and sign the scanner he's holding, and take the box.

"Thank you." I said, shutting the door quickly.

Yes, yes, yes!! I run upstairs, throw the box on my bed then grab a my knife from my dresser, and cut open the side, and top of the box. I open it up, and dump the contents on my bed. Three new band shirts, a pair of pants that have zippers, and straps all over them, a skirt that has two bloody hand prints on the back, and on the front says "I heart Zombies", but instead of just saying 'heart', it looks like a real heart, some striped tights, fishnet stockings, and last but not least, a new pair of steel toed Grip Fast boots that go half way up my calf.

Automatically being in a better mood than before, I snort a couple of lines of coke, and get dressed putting my new clothes on. After finishing with my hair and make up, I decide to go to the park to draw, and clear my head because I never get a long break from my negative thoughts. I throw my note pad into my bag, and make sure my keys, and phone are also in there. I lock my door, and walk to down the stairs. I go to the kitchen and grab a water bottle, and head out. There's no point in driving because the park is just a couple of blocks away. Once I get there I see little kids running around without a care in the world. Parents smiling proudly at them while holding hands and walking down the paved path around the playground. There are runners going down the trail that goes through out the park, and dogs with their owners walking and playing fetch.