HE NEVER SAYS.

v.

yoongi wakes up in the middle of the night to a phone call. he squints his eyes at the brightness, trying to decipher who it could be that's calling him on the day he actually managed to sleep.

jimminie.

yoongi lets out a small huff, putting the phone at his ear. his voice is rough. "it better be something serious, jimin."

"jungkook kissed me," jimin releases on a breath. yoongi thinks this should be a happy thing, but he can hear the tremble and shake in jimin's voice. "jungkook kissed me and – all i could think of was you."

"jimin?" yoongi sits up in bed, worry settling in his stomach. "are you okay?"

jimin lets out a shaky laugh, his breath catching and yoongi can hear the soft sobs that jimin lets out. "will it always be like this hyung? will i always think of you?"

"jimminie," yoongi sighs, "baby, where are you? i'll come get you."

jimin hiccups. "i think... i think loving you is hard. especially when you won't love me back."

"jimin, please–"

"no," jimin lets out forcefully. yoongi hears something clatter to the floor in the background, but he remains quiet. "let me talk, please. i have to say this." he takes a deep breath. "i love you so fucking much, min yoongi. i've loved you since the moment i first met you. i've loved you since the first time you said hello, and i loved you more every time after that. i love you so much that it feels like it's impossible. to care about someone as much as i care about you. i love you, and i want you to be happy, but is too much to ask that you be happy with me? i know that you can love hyung. i know you say you can't, but i know you can. you were pretty close to loving hoseok, i know you were. and i'm sorry, that you were so scared about feelings things for him that you decided to cheat on him just to show that you didn't have a heart and i helped you. i helped you break hoseok's heart because i jumped into bed with you and you knew he would catch us and there were two broken hearts that time, but neither of them were yours."

"jimin," yoongi feels a lump in his throat, "what happened with hoseok wasn't your fault."

"i thought i told you be quiet?" jimin's voice sounds clear now, slightly shaky, but very determined. "tell hoseok that i'm sorry, hyung. i think you two would be great together. you know, if you ever wanted to try again."

"i don't want to try again."

jimin ignores this. "i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. i didn't care how, i just wanted to be with you so much. i hurt so many people. i even pushed jungkook away. jungkook told me he loved me, you know. right before he kissed me. it's weird, i've been waiting for those words for so long, but they were said by the wrong person. it didn't feel right. he doesn't kiss me like you do. i thought about you, i told you. jungkook kissed me and all i thought was oh, well yoongi would have me half naked and on my knees right now. haven't i really grown up, hyung? i think you made me really pervy. but that's okay. i like it." jimin hums. "i love you yoongi. i feel like i'm drowning in a sea of you and i don't know how to swim. are you going to save me?"

yoongi almost can't speak. "jimin."

"yes, hyung?"

yoongi swallows past the lump in his throat. he ruffles his hair, closing his eyes. he thinks having jimin's heart in his palms is a big responsibility, he doesn't want to hurt it. "please tell me where you are."

jimin sighs. "i have to go hyung."

"jimin," yoongi pleads. "please, i... i have to see you."

jimin hums. "you'll see me, i promise." he drops his voice to  a whisper, and yoongi wonders what the hell is going on because it sounds like he's smiling. "i love you hyung."

yoongi licks his lips, wants to say it too, but he can't. he fucking can't. and he doesn't know why. coward, yoongi scoffs at himself, what a fucking coward.

jimin laughs at the silence. "bye hyung. i'll see you around. love you."

and then the line goes dead and yoongi is left blinking at his phone.