Roommates

4. A Little Secret

Previously...
I've never felt this good before. I don't feel nervous or anything, I just feel... happy. It feels weird. And I like it.

***

Finn's POV
I wake up the next morning earlier than usual. I'm excited to see Rachel, plus I need to talk to her about what happened last night. I still can't believe it. After we stopped kissing I think she was in shock a little bit, so she just awkwardly told me "I think I'm going to get ready for bed. I'll see you tomorrow." So I don't really know how she'll act around me today, although I'm hoping we'll be fine. Maybe more.

I decide that since Rachel made breakfast yesterday morning, respectfully I should make it today. I decide I won't bother about getting dressed, so I just walk out topless with my baggy checkered pyjama trousers on. I browse through the cupboards and decide I'll make some pancakes, since we had eggs and bacon yesterday.

*

Time goes by and Rachel still hasn't woken up. It's been about an hour, and I made a couple pancakes already, which I've eaten, but I haven't made anymore since I've been waiting for her to get up so they wouldn't get cold. I decide to go and check on her.
I walk into her room and see that she's still fast asleep in her bed. I just want to climb in with her and cuddle her, but I can't. I still don't know how she feels about yesterday. But I need to wake her up anyway.

Rachel's POV
I wake up to Finn's soft voice calling my name. As I begin to stir awake, I catch a glance of my alarm clock. 10:37AM. I shoot up. Crap. I slept in.
"Hey, hey are you alright?" Finn asks me. Of course, I must have startled him by getting up so quickly.
I rub my eyes and smile, although I'm not looking at him. "Yeah, sorry. I must have forgot to set my alarm last night."
"It's alright, it's understandable I guess." For a second I wonder what he means, and then memories of the sofa and him come back into my mind and I can feel myself going a bit red.

"I've made pancakes." He continues. I look at him and he seems to realise why I'm not up and getting dressed right now. "Oh, crap, sorry. I'll leave so you can get ready." He smiles and heads back into the kitchen, of course closing the curtain to my room behind him.

I let myself fall back onto the pillow and I rub my face feeling like an idiot for forgetting last night, and also confused as to why it happened. I have so many emotions inside my brain right now I feel like I might fall back asleep or pass out. I don't know how I feel.

*

After fighting with myself for almost 10 minutes I finally gather up the courage to leave my bed. I decide to just put on my night robe, not bothering about getting dressed. I walk into the kitchen and he's sat at the table with his head in his hands. I guess he's just as confused as I am.

He sees me and gets up, and I suddenly realise that he's topless now that I'm awake and I'm actually paying attention. Sure, he doesn't have a six pack, but who cares? He's damn handsome. I feel slightly exposed now in my robe and try to pull it tighter out of anxiety.

"Hey, you ready to eat?" He smiles at me and I smile back. He takes that as a yes and continues to make pancakes on the stove. I take a seat at the table and decide that maybe we should talk.

"Hey, uh, about last night..." I start, but I don't know where to finish, so my words just hang there without an end. He looks around at me.
"Yeah, I think we need to talk about that." Well at least we're both on the same page, or I think we are. "Can you wait until I sit down with you and we talk properly?"
"Yeah, sure." That's probably the best thing to do.

*

Finn's POV
We finish up our pancakes without really talking, apart from her telling me how good they taste and to pass the syrup. I remember we really do need to talk though.
"So, do you wanna talk now?" I ask.
"Yeah, I guess we should."
"You wanna go sit on the sofa?"

She looks over her shoulder and frowns a little. "No, not really." Of course she doesn't, Finn. That was a stupid thing to ask.
There's an awkward silence between the both of us for a minute or so.
"How do you feel about it?" She finally asks me.
"If I'm being honest, I have no idea."
She laughs a bit. "Yeah, neither do I." This is so awkward. I just want to fall through a hole in the floor and never come out. This isn't how I expected or wanted things to go.

"I'm sorry." That's all I can manage to get out. She looks at me and I can tell she doesn't know what to say either.
"I'm sorry too." She says.
I can barely bring myself to ask her, but I do. "Do you just want to forget about it and try to move on?" Please don't say yes. I...

Rachel's POV
I don't know what to say to him. Part of me feels like it's too soon, but then if I say yes, I'll probably never get this opportunity again. Maybe I should ask him first.
"Well, do you?"

Finn's POV
I want to be honest with her, but what if she doesn't feel the same way? I'm lost, completely.
"I..." I start. I don't know what I'm supposed to say. I can see her staring at me as I'm looking down.
"I really care about you." I have no other way to put it. I don't want to jump in and say No, I want to be with you. I love you. Because honestly I have no idea how I feel right now. But I know its something, at least.
"I care about you, too."
I look up at her. She did just say that, right? I'm not imagining it?

Rachel's POV
He looks up at me after I speak and I can see in his eyes that he really means it. He does care about me. It's sort of freaking me out.
"You didn't answer the question though." he says.
I smile. "Does it need answering?" from the way that we are both acting, I think I can tell how he feels, and I know how I do.
I get up ready to take the plates, but he gets up too. He walks up close to me and takes both of my hands. I smile at him. "So?"

"So.." He looks at me and pulls me in to him, and once again we're kissing. He puts his hands under my robe but over my pyjamas on my waist and pulls me in closer to him, and I put my hands on his topless chest, and then through his hair, although he's so tall I can barely reach. It feels dreamy somehow, like I've stopped worrying about anything else.

Finn's POV
It feels so good when I'm kissing her, I can't describe it. I pull her in close to me, and I hear her let out a tiny moan when I do, which just makes me want her even more. After a few minutes she moves her lips away from mine and bites her lip looking at me. "I'll do the plates." She says. She's so gorgeous, and she leaves me wanting more.

I decide to go and sit on the sofa while Rachel's doing the plates, and I feel like I can't stop smiling. But I can't stop thinking: if we've both said that we don't want to forget about this, and we care about each other, then what are we?

Are we just roommates? Or are we more?

After a few minutes Rachel comes over and sits next to me.
"Okay, so." I start. "Since we've talked about how we feel, what does that make us?"
"I guess I'm not sure."
"Well, what would you like us to be?"

Rachel's POV
I'm not sure, if I'm honest. I mean, I really care about him, and I'm not a person who likes to mess with feelings, believe me I know personally how it feels to have that done to you, and I wouldn't wish it on or do it to anyone else. I decide to just be honest with him.

"I'm not sure. I mean, if we want to be, you know, together, then I want us to take things slow."
He smiles. "Yeah, that's totally fine. It's whatever you want." He's such a sweetheart. He's not even my proper boyfriend right now and I feel so lucky. "So, what exactly does that make us? I mean, when we see people, like Puck and Sam, what should I introduce you as?"

"Uh..." I didn't really think about that.
"Should I just call you my friend?"
I smile a little, although I can feel some type of disappointment in my stomach. "Yeah, that would probably be easier. I mean, until we are ready to get more... 'serious'."
"Okay, well I guess that's sorted then, hah." He laughs a little, but I can sense that he's feeling a bit weird about calling me a 'friend' too. But I guess there's no other word for it right now. I'm not his girlfriend. I mean, yet. It depends how things go I guess.
But for now, I guess it's just like a little secret.