I Am Schizophrenic

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

  Noiselessness filled the place. Everything seemed to be moving in a slow motion; their gesture and breaths. I glared at Samantha Collins warily, trying to calculate my next movement in my mind. It all felt surreal—as if I was in the middle in a cliché nightmare and I waited for myself to wake up, but I never did. The speechlessness continued, nobody said a word, probably waiting for me to speak. However, I wasn’t going to let her win—she couldn’t win, because I hadn’t done all that to be caught eventually like that. The confrontation was hard for me, I was still trying to comprehend what happened, avoiding the babel in my head. I had to make a rapid decision, or to be more precise—an impulsive one. I grabbed the knife I had under my shirt and angled it at Samantha, and my eyes looked at her in outrage, yet nervousness. But it was either now or never.

   “I think you’re wrong, dr. Collins.” Were my first words after my astonishment.

  Samantha looked very intimidated at the sight of my knife, probably reconsidering her provocative words to me and most probably regretting it. She had to act more serenely with her psycho patient. She opened her mouth and murmured;

   “Christina..you’re a good person, you won’t do that.” Her voice was weakened, I felt gratified.

  “How do you know?” I asked her mischievously.

  She had no answer, for sure. But “I just know.” Was all she said.

  “You ruined my life once, and I’m not letting you ruin it again.” I said vexedly as I pointed the knife at her and threw it steadily and quickly at her direction.

  She was thunderstruck. And the knife stabbed her under her shoulder.

  Trent and Rae picked her up quickly, very frightened to lose her. I had the opportunity to flee. And I did.

  I roamed the streets of New York, holding my backpack, having nowhere to go to. I stopped by a fast food restaurant and grabbed a bite, after realizing that I hadn’t eaten for 24 hours—I was starving, but the incidents had made me forgot about me starvation. Then I went to a café to sit for a while and consider my next movements with a cool head. I realized I had nothing. Nobody to go to and nowhere to stay at. I was homeless. A homeless 17 year old in the city of New York, I suppose staying at the mental hospital was better than that. I wondered if they were looking for me, I thought about Eliza—if she was missing me as much as I missed her, wondered if her boyfriend made her forget about me. And Derrick, the guy I turned down, I wondered if he moved on and started seeing someone new or if he still hadn’t given up on me yet. My mind was hectic.

  After I left the café, I continued my stroll in the streets and I ended up at the upper east side of New York. I studied people while walking, thinking if they were happy and had something to live for or miserable like myself. I looked at the houses, envying the people living inside them. They were safe and contained, they didn’t fear the next minute or hour of their lives. I got tired and ended up sitting in some park, watching the sun preparing to leave. I felt someone behind me, I could feel their breath. I was too frightened to turn back and find Trent or Samantha—or the police. But I did turn back anyways and it was unexpected. It was Jake.

  “Jake?” I said in a relieved tone.

  “Hey, Tina.” He calmly said with a smile.

   I was very happy to see him, I wanted to jump on him and kiss him like there was no tomorrow.

  “How did you know I was here?” I asked.

  “I followed you.” He said in a disappointed gesture. Clearly not happy about what I did.