I Am Schizophrenic

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

   Derrick and I got on the train to California, and before I got on it, a force inside me tried preventing me from not doing so. But I fought back and successfully got on the train.We sat by the window and I felt a cold breeze across my face—the weather was marvelous, it was September and I instantly remembered that Eliza’s birthday was in September, I hoped for a way to tell her ‘Happy birthday’ and to tell her how much I missed her around. I also realized that I skipped my junior year in high school, I was disappointed, but Derrick told me that if I passed junior year’s exams, I would get promoted to senior year, he promised to help me with that year’s studies as well.

  Derrick tried to make a conversation several times, but I told him I was tired and I’d sleep until we arrived. But I didn’t sleep, I just closed my eyes and started recalling all the incidents that occurred through the past year; Jake, my sister Sarah and the car accident I got into which Derrick saved me from, the scary Darkened and her whispers to me, the cutting, the mental hospital, befriending Eliza, our escape from the mental hospital, meeting Ashton, working as a maid, stay at Derrick’s apartment in Virginia, him confessing his love for me, escaping to New York, stay at Trent Collins’ place then finding out he was Samantha Collins’, my psychiatrist, younger brother and finally going back to California with Derrick. It all flashbacked like watching a movie, an action-romantic-adventure-thriller movie, and every movie needs an ending—and I sincerely hoped for a happy ending. I was still 17, I had life ahead me and everyone agreed that I was sick, and to be more precise—schizophrenic.

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   Everyone seemed so happy and relieved about my return, I felt neutral though. Neither happy nor sad, I switched off my feelings for some time till I saw what happened after my return. I definitely went back to the same hospital, although I wanted to change it, but they knew better than me. Back to the same pale white room, it was even colder now, duller and it had no life—just like my soul. I spent like an hour or more alone in the room, waiting for the doctor or anyone to come to me. The room was so quiet that I could hear my own breaths, along with the rhythmic sound of the clock on the wall; ‘tick, tock, tick, tock..’. My mind was so focused on the ticking sound that I was shook when the door opened. It was Samantha Collins.

  I tried to hide my smile when I saw her, as I remembered how I stabbed her in the shoulder back in New York and honestly, it was pretty devious of me.

  “Yeah, me again.” She said as she made her way to my bed.

  “Hey, Dr. Collins.” I casually said while still fighting to hide that smile.

  I could see her smile too, the situation was funnily awkward.

  “Sorry ‘bout the stab.”

  “Nah, it’s okay, I’m used to that.” She replied casually.

  “I’m sorry about everything, but you should know that your brother made a ‘client’ of him rape me.” I informed her in a broken voice.

  “Christina..” she began.

  “He’s a drug dealer!” I exclaimed.

  “He’s not. That’s what you thought, my brother works in a medicine company which provides us and almost every hospital in California with medicine.”

  I looked at her confusingly.

  “Here’s what really happened, Christina; you had a migraine back at that time and he gave you an aspirin injection, then you passed out and he brought a doctor to see you, and after you woke up you thought that the doctor was a rapist and you attacked Trent and his girlfriend for that.” She explained.