I sat there letting the hot water
pelt me, though it seemed to do
little to warm me
I had the small piece of metal
in hand, already regretting what
I'd done
but it didn't hurt anymore
my heart was numb
sure there were 1 million and 1
thoughts running through my
head all at once and each one more
painful than the last
but I was numb
but i could breathe
in a sickening way my self
inflicted wounds had helped ease
my attack of thoughts
I stared at my wounds and
rubbed the blood off of them
only to have them bleed some
more
I would have cried if I weren't
so numb by then
I guess I'd made enough
wounds to keep myself numb
I stared down at the piece of
metal debating on wether or
not I should create more wounds
to make the feeling last
I shook my head and sighed placing
the metal away and watching as my
wounds bled openly and slowly began
to stain the water
I watched as it slowly swirled
down the drain
then I stood up and rinsed off and
grabbed a towel and the piece of
metal debating on wether or not I
should throw it in the toilet and
flush it away forever
I thought for a good couple minutes
then I walked past the toilet
and into my room, hiding the metal
away
I guess old habits really
do die hard
-e.l.
