Rowan

Chapter 16 | Rowan

Her apartment was dark when they stepped through the door, so she quickly ran from room to room to turn on a few lights.

He was waiting respectfully by the closed door when she returned.

"You can sit wherever!" she said. "Do you actually want ice cream?"

"I would love some," he said, taking a seat at the kitchen island. His tall frame made the stool look tiny, and she almost laughed at the sight. Almost laughed and also resisted the urge to jump him. Where was this side of her coming from? It was almost shocking.

She was never forward with men. Ever. Not even in her thoughts! But with James all she wanted to do was kiss him. But for real this time.

She set a container of ice cream and some bowls and spoons on the island and sat down across from him.

"Thanks for picking me up," she said, scooping some into her bowl.

"Of course. I hope I didn't take you from something good."

"It was fine," she assured him. "And I really wanted to see you again anyways."

Their eyes connected across the island and she seemed to be temporarily frozen. His gaze was intense; penetrating, and it was the sound of her spoon hitting the glass bowl that broke the heavy silence.

The string of lights in the living room was casting a warm glow across the small space, and it made him appear almost ethereal and more mysterious than usual.

He cleared his throat. "So, does your family visit often? You said they don't live around here."

She was reminded of the message left on her phone and her nervous smile dropped. "No," she said quietly, playing with her spoon. "We don't really get along anymore."

It was quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry, Rowan."

"They didn't agree with my decision to move here and they loved my boyfriend. I was the disobedient daughter." She tried to sound unaffected; like she didn't care.

He regarded her curiously; searchingly. "You had a boyfriend?" he finally asked.

"Had, yes." Her eyes flickered to the table, ashamed of the way the conversation was going but unable to stop. She'd never been able to talk to anyone about what he had put her through. "I loved him."

His expression was unreadable, but he seemed to be searching for something in her. "What did it feel like?" he finally asked.

To leave him? It was a strange question, but she pondered it anyways.

What did it feel like? In the beginning it was angry words, which led to hurtful silence. And in the end it left her feeling cold and empty. But she'd never told anyone that, and she couldn't tell him.

Instead, she pushed away her bowl of ice cream and tried to turn the conversation to him. "Can you tell me about your family?"

She could see the exact moment when he closed up. It was like the shutters came slamming down, locking her out. It wasn't the first time, and she wondered what it was about him that made him so distant to his personal life. Was he a little like her?

The comfortable silence had grown awkward, and she shifted her eyes to the side, wishing she'd never said anything.

He sighed. "I'm sorry. I-" he stopped, frustration seeping into his voice. "I was in the service, and I changed. I don't know how to talk the way I used to. I'm trying. I want to," he said, grappling for words, his eyes begging her to understand.

Her defenses melted a little at his clear struggle. "It's okay," she said. I do understand.

They watched each other in silence for a few moments, and the tension finally began dissipating.

"Can I pick you up after your classes tomorrow? There's something I'd love to show you."

And her spirits lifted.