Still with me? There we go, good girl.
Do you remember the first time you got that feeling in your stomach?
No, I am not talking about full on L-O-V-E, that would come a bit later.
I am talking about the feeling that seems like a million butterflies are doing back flips, rubbing their delicate wings on the sides of your abdomen, churning your organs around until they are all twisted up in a warm, jumbled mess, making you feel both ecstatic and queasy. That, I think, is the feeling of the beginning of love.
The first time you felt that feeling was when you were dying. You didn't die, of course, but you were so sure that you were when you spent those days walking the thin line between life and death, swaying from side to side, unable to keep your balance.
You had come down with the mystery flu that engulfed the prison and sent everyone into a panic. You spent your days in agony, all alone in the cold, unfamiliar cell. You spent the nights by yourself, which is something you didn't like to do ever since you started to share a cell with Carl. You guys had promised Rick you would stay on different bunks, but all promises are meant to be broken. Rick knew you two slept tangled in each other's embrace, and the fact that he didn't do anything about it made you feel accepted.
But then you came down with the mystery infection, and you were forced to sleep on the thin mattress in a different cell block, nothing keeping you warm but a single blanket tightly wrapped around your figure.
You went days without seeing Carl since he wasn't allowed to come to this cell block. You missed him terribly, but you knew you couldn't do a thing about it.
Each day you got worse, too. The coughing got worse, the pain in your lungs got worse, and Hershel's tea barely did anything to stop the agony. You thought you were going to die alone and unhappy, until the day Hershel came into your cell with a message from Carl.
That night, you met Carl, just like he told you to. He had to sneak out of the administrative part of the building and past his dad. Not only that, but he also risked his health just to catch a glimpse of you. I really hope you realized this and really appreciated that boy.
The moment you spotted Carl from the behind the glass, a huge grin nearly split your face in two and that feeling came to your stomach.
You didn't know this yet, but you would get that feeling every time the three little words you withheld from Carl's ears for so long were just on the tip of your tongue, threatening to jump out and reveal everything, which was more that just a few times.
Back then, when you were sick, Carl would sit up with you every night night and talk to you. You couldn't feel his warmth, and the barrier of the glass drove you both nearly insane, but just seeing him was good enough for you.
You remember that, don't you? You remember the early warning signs that you were falling hard for the boy with the blue eyes.
Every night you prayed to the god you were sure wasn't listening anymore, and you always asked him one simple thing: that you live, not for yourself, but for Carl. You knew that you were falling the minute you decided that he was the reason you needed to survive.
It wasn't until you realized that you weren't going to die that you finally let the consuming love for Carl devour every inch of your soul. You started getting better once the group who made the run to the hospital returned. The excitement of feeling Carl's skin pressed against yours again filled your head as you paced around the small cell.
The morning you woke up feeling as healthy as you did before you caught the virus, you rushed out of the cell and hugged Hershel tightly. He pressed his hand against your forehead and nodded at you, a small smile on his wrinkly lips. You grinned back before venturing out to find the boy with the blue eyes.
You found him snoozing on our shared bunk. He had your pillow clutched to his chest and his face held a distressed expression. Without hesitation, you jumped on top of him, waking him up instantly. It took a second for this eyes to focus on you, but once they did, the look on his face was priceless.
The feeling creeped into your stomach again, filling you up with a tingling sensation. You felt as if you could float away at any second, but you didn't. You remained grounded on the bed, molded against Carl's body as you kissed his lips over and over. You wouldn't voice your feelings to him for another few months, but at that point, you were already in so deep, and you never wanted to climb to the surface again.
YOU ARE READING
The Long Run {c.g.}
Fanfiction"You didn't know this at the time, but you and that boy would go on to run, and you wouldn't stop, not for as long as you both would live." * * * A short story about how you lived when the world had died. THE WALKING DEAD // CARL GRIMES [seasons 1-7]
